Yay for Fire
by LeoOsaka Bakura's stalker
Summary: Let's just say Roy has his moments... Roycentric drabbles, mainly RoyEd and many other pairings!...And just much random fluffehness! Expect EVERYTHING!
1. Yay for Fire

**Yay for Fire**

Roy was sitting in his office staring down at the ever growing stack of papers that he sooo dreaded doing. He picked up a newspaper instead of the pen he should have. He wasn't in the mood of signing four hundred documents...Then again, when was he?

He flipped open the newspaper. Thumbed through a few pages of uninteresting articles and stopped to read his horoscope. ..."You will have a miserable life"...

Be blinked as he read the words. Then without much thought he snapped his fingers and watched the newspaper ignite into flames.

Now he was back to staring down at the pile of papers...Luckily the door opened and he looked up greatful for the distraction.

"Yes, lieutenant Hawkeye?" He asked sounding bored.

"There's a gas leak in the main building sir. I came to warn you." She spoke in a serious tone characteristic to her.

"Get someone to fix it. Is that all?" He sighed.

"Yes sir."

"Then you are dismissed."

She saluted and left, leaving him to suffer through the endless forms. He tried to think of something to do to get out of doing it. Then an idea came to him.

"I got it!" He snapped his fingers walking out into the main building...

xxx

_Leo: If you don't get it...remember...gas is flamable..._


	2. Innocent Game

**Innocent Game**

"No." "Aw come on Roy." "I said no"  
"It's just a little game"  
"Hughes, I said no, now get out of my office"  
Hughes frowned, but after a second smirked. "Would you like to see new pictures of Elysia! She's so adorable"  
Fearing being smothered to death by his obsessive friend he opted for the previous, and safer, option. "Fine I'll play your stupid game! Make it quick."

Unknowing to him a few people were standing right outside the door listening as Hughes began his little 'game'.

"Okay, answer with the first thing you think of"  
"Fine, just start." The colonel leaned back in his chair crossing his arms.  
"Okay, what's the first thing you think of when you hear the word, 'happy"  
"Not me"  
"Evil"  
"Paperwork"  
"Number"  
"Thirteen"  
"Animal"  
"Dog"  
"Forest"  
"Fairies"  
Hughes blinked.  
"What? You asked! Those stupid things always live in forests in those fairytales! Just continue." He grumbled.  
"Okay, um, 'right"  
"Left"  
"Riza?" "Gun"  
"Color"  
"Red"  
"Scary"  
"Major Armstrong"  
"Your secret crush"  
"Ed."

Mustang blinked as he realized what he'd just said. Hughes smirked as the door pushed open to reveal Ed standing in the door way. He paled as he saw the shocked look on Ed's face.

"Hughes." Roy glared. "You have three seconds to get out of my office or a murder-suicide will take place." Hughes ran out of the room laughing his ass off.  
He stuck his head back in the door one last time.  
"I always said you needed a wife! Now you're one step closer"  
"I'M DISOWNING YOU AS MY FRIEND YOU TRAITOR!" He threw a lamp at Hughs, but missed. He looked back at Ed. "Um...I didn't mean to say that, it was-"

There was silence in the room as Ed grabbed the colonel by the collar of his uniform and pulled him into a kiss.

xxx


	3. Handwritten Notes

**Handwritten Notes**

Roy sighed as he received another mass of things on his desk. He had just cleared it of everything and now it was, again, cluttered. Many of the things, no doubt, paperwork. Which was all he seemed to do anymore.

He thumbed through what was there. And he spotted an envelope with his name scribbled on the front in red ink. He smiled as he pulled it out and opened it. He knew who it was from. The red ink, and that chicken scratch for handwriting gave it away easily.

He pulled the letter out and chuckled as he saw the way the name was written. This was one of many 'notes' he'd received in the last few days. And even though he got questioning glances from others, he welcomed each letter.

He unfolded the paper and read the words:

Dear Bastard-sama,

I bet ya miss me don't you? Of course you do! Well, I hope you have a horrible day! Bye, Jerk...Oh and by the way...

...I love you.

Sincerely,  
Your pint-sized brat

Roy smiled. It was so like Ed to say all those things, and then contradict himself at the end. And such like him to say such hateful things in such a loving manner. But needless to say, he wouldn't trade his little rough handwritten notes for sappy letters anyday...

xxx


	4. Red Dress

**Red Dress**

Roy grumbled as he sat up. Ed was already gone to spend the day with his brother and he knew he had to get to work. However lack of sleep from the previous nights of working late had worn him out and he was ready to just call in sick.

Of course he quickly concluded that that idea wouldn't work, so against his will, he slid out of bed and stumbled toward his bathroom. He walked in half asleep, half awake, and with out even opening his eyes he turned the water on and splashed his face with cold water, in hopes of waking himself up.

He wiped his face with a towel and looked up at the mirror. He immediately noticed the bright red words written diagonally with lipstick on the mirror. He laughed out loud as he read the words:

Hey Colonel Jackass, Come home early tonight and I'll wear that dress you like so much.

Ed

He smiled. He'd bought Ed a bright red dress as a joke before they'd even begun a relationship. It was quite funny when Ed got it. And even funnier when, a few drinks later, they (Roy and Maes) managed to get him into it that very evening, when the boy was plastered.

Suddenly, going to work didn't seem so bad.

xxx


	5. Ed or Ed?

**Ed or Ed?**

There were two Eds standing across from him. He looked back and forth carefully at each of then. Both were giving him the intent look as he was forced to guess which one was the real Ed and which one was the homonculi, Envy.

"Come on Roy, it's me! Don't listen to that fraud!" The Ed on the right spoke, in a half convincing and harsh way. Very much like Ed.

"Are you going to listen to that crap? You bastard, it's me!" A quick out burst came from the Ed on the left. Also something Ed would do and actually does on a daily basis.

"Oh come on! You can't possibly buy into that! I mean I know you're thick sometimes but come on!

"I can't believe you! You should know me well enough to tell!"

He listened to the two go back and forth, both very convincing, but he'd already picked one in his mind.

"The one on the left is the real Ed." He said pointing to Ed.

"What? How could you tell?" Envy, the 'right Ed' transformed back into his normal form.

"Because the Ed on the left's boots had thicker heels." Was the colonels simple answer.

Ed leaned against Roy with his head buried in the older man's side. "I hate you." He mumbled.

Roy patted Ed's head. "It's okay. I know you do."

Envy blinked, sweatdropped and decided it was time to go...elsewhere.

xxx


	6. Pictures

**Pictures**

It was Christmas, that wonderful time where to sit in front of the fire place with friends and family, eat bigger dinners, exchange gifts...and listen to Maes Hughes rant about how beautiful his daughter Elysia was, while shamelessly flaunting wallet sized photos of her.

Ed rolled his eyes as he watched the man. He was so excited now. Ed and Roy had gotten him a silver frame with his daughter's name ingraved at the bottom and underneath the words "daddy's little girl." They nearly had to resuscitate poor Roy after Hughes hugged him in appreciation.

Now it was Maes' turn to give the two their gifts. They were half afraid. The other half was probably still in tramatic shock.

He handed both of them a book. A black, fairly thick book with a nice leather cover. He smiled as he sat back.

"It's something you two need more of. Open it!"

With the pressure of everyone watching, Ed opened the cover. And the first thing he saw was a picture of him, Roy and Maes. The only one they'd taken together. Hughes was standing by Roy with a big grin on his face, like always, the colonel was standing a little to the left of him and Ed was comfortably tucked into Roy's arms. It was quite a cute photo.

They continued on and found more pictures. That they never remembered taking. They looked up at Maes, who smiled again.

"When did you take all these pictures, Maes?" Roy asked curious.

"When ever you two did something worth remembering."

"Hey what are these?" Ed looked at a few strips of negatives.

"Oh I didn't have those developed, mainly for the fact that I didn't mean to take them..." He ansered nervously.

Ed looked up at them under the light to make out the images. It didn't take him long to realize exactly what was in those pictures.

"Um...Roy?"

"Yes?"

"Burn these...now.

xxx


	7. Strange Affection

**Strange affection**

Ed sat on the chair in Colonel Mustang's office. He was bored waiting for the jerk to come back from where ever he went. He heard the door open and he looked up, hopeful that he'd FINALLY come back. But instead Hughes trotted in with that big grin he never seemed to go anywhere without.

"Hey there, Ed, where's the Colonel?"

"You mean bastard-sama? I don't know. He said he'd be back." Ed mumbled. "Damn liar."

"I didn't lie, fullmetal. It just took longer than I thought." Ed looked up at the person whose voice spoke the words.

"Who were you flirting with this time, bastard!" Ed spoke raising his voice.

"Will you just chill out half pint. I wasn't!"

"Oh please! You're such a player!" The shorter one hissed.

"I am not! I stopped that!"

"Yeah only when I'm around!"

"What you want to follow me around! Go ahead!"

"You're such a jerk!"

"You're such a LITTLE brat!"

"YOU'RE A HATEFUL HEARTLESS BASTARD!"

"I WISH YOU'D GROW UP!"

"I WISH YOU WOULD DIE!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO!"

The two were still glaring and still screaming at each other, even as they spoke the words that normally would have been heartfelt, well with normal people at least. Hughes sweatdropped and backed out of Roy's office.

Those two were quite a pair. Even if they had strange ways of showing their affection for one another...

xxx


	8. Little Pet Name

**Little Pet Name**

"Why do you call me a bastard?" Roy asked out of random boredom, as he leaned back in his chair.

"Because it's fun." Ed answered from his place on the little couch in the middle of Roy's office.

"How so?" The colonel arched an eyebrow.

"Do you enjoy picking on me about my height?" Ed asked sitting up from his previous position.

"Yes, I do. Only because it gets you riled up. But I don't care that you call me a bastard, so where's all the fun in that?"

"The fun is, you enjoy me calling you that. And it's even more amusing when you respond to it when I call out to you half way across a room. Besides, that's my little pet name for you."

"How endearing, and I still don't see the fun in that." He shrugged going back to signing the papers on his desk. Ed walked over to be nosy and see what he was doing. A few minutes of silence passed before Ed said anything.

"Hey bastard."

"Yes?"

"You just signed your name as: Colonel Bastard Mustang..." Ed pointed to the paper.

"...I'm sure they'll figure out who it is." He said blinking as he took a second look at the paper.

xxx


	9. Overprotective Little Brother

**Overprotective Little Brother**

"Okay, Al. I'm going to tell you something that, A. You cannot tell anyone else yet, and B. You Can't kill me for." Ed looked at the suit of armor which was his brother.

"It can't be that bad can it nii-san?"

"That all depends..."

"Okay, I promise."

"Well okay, you see I didn't get back until this morning, because I spent the night at Roy's..."

"That's not that bad brother! That just means you're getting along better."

"I'm not done Al. Remember that mark that was on my neck a few days ago, that wasn't a bug bite. And I don't actually HAVE to give reports to the colonel anymore." Ed gulped as he got ready to say the last thing.

The wheels in Al's mind began to turn as he realized just what his brother was getting at.

"Nii-san...Are you gay?"

Ed winced at the bluntness of the question. "Um...yes Al."

"Okay...Nii-san if that's what you were worried about, that's okay-"

"And when I said I was limping because My leg hurt...I was lying..."

It was that moment that Roy walked out of the building. Al looked up at him. And then back at Ed.

"Nii-san..."

"Y-yes Al?"

"As I promised I won't tell anyone and I won't hurt YOU..." His gaze turned to Roy.

"Roy?" Ed blinked as he realized that, although he was safe...that meant nothing for his partner.

"Yes?"

"Run."

Ed wasn't so sure that he should have told Al...Because the younger one could be quite over protective of his older brother. It was just like Al to worry about him...Even when there was nothing to be worried out. But either way...

It was Roy who learned not to fuck with an Elric...quite literally.

xxx


	10. Roy's new girlfriend

**Roy's New Girlfriend**

"Colonel!" Roy heard as he walked down the hallway faster not wanting to face the gun wielding woman.

"Taisa!" She called louder trying to run to catch up with him. Not able to get through the people fast enough she stopped pulled out her gun and fired a shot.

Roy stooded taking a ragged breath as he recovered from the shock of having a bullet fly passed, less than in inch from the side of his face.

"Taisa, I have to talk with you." She spoke as if her being lower ranked than him meant nothing. Which considering she had the gun,ready to shoot, I really didn't matter...

They both walked back to his office. He stood in the middle of the room nervously as she closed the door behind her.

"I want to know why you're acting different, sir?" She spoke with more seriousness then the average person could muster.

"Um...well you see...It's kind of hard to explain lieutenant..."

"I'm not leaving until you do sir."

Roy sighed. "Ed, please come out from under my desk."

Riza blinked as she saw the chair push back and Ed stand up dusting himself off. He scratched at his head nervously.

"What's the meaning of this?" She asked with a questioning look.

"Um...I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend?..." Roy laughed nervously.

Ed crossed his arms blushing. Riza blinked twice, looking at the two, as if to ask: 'are you serious'. And it was quite clear they were. She saluted the two and left.

"Do you think she took that well?" Ed questioned.

"I'm not sure."

A few minutes later gunshots can be heard and a loud commanding female voice followed. "BE QUITE! YOU'RE ALL DISRUPTING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!"

"I'll take that as a no..." Ed sweat dropped.

xxx


	11. Confession Part One

**Confession Part One**

"I'm not going to tell you again, get that picture out of my face before I break this glass over your head. " Roy half heartedly threatened as Hughes finished his rant about his daughter and wife. "I've seen it a dozen time and I have twelve copies of it, courtesy of you."

The two were sitting in a Tavern, they were one of only a handful of people and the only ones sitting up at the bar.

"Oh, come on Roy! And when are you going to get married?"

"Never. And my god Maes, with as many times as you bring that up, you sound like a freakish mother waiting for her litter of grandkids to spoil."

"Oh come on Roy why not?" It was clear he had completely ignored Roy's second statement. "Maybe if you have a son now, Elysia and him could grow up and get married! Then we'd be family!"

"One, I'm not getting married or having children, Two, I have a hard enough time tolerating your obsessiveness of your family WITHOUT having family ties." He replied taking a sip from his drink.

"You're no fun! Being married is great!"

"To you maybe, married life isn't for everyone."

"Oh Roy, you're such a dull guy. I can't remember the last time you were actually HAPPY! You need to find someone who makes you that way! And then marry her!"

"Maes...I'm gay."

Hughes blinked as he comprehended the words coming from his friends mouth. And after several long, drawn out and seemingly thoughtful moments he spoke.

"Still?"

"Yes, Maes...I'm 'still' gay." Mustang took a sip of his drink again, half amused at the antics of his friend.

xxx


	12. Confession Part Two

**Confession Part Two**

"But...But...you're such a womanizer!" Hughes sighed realizing there was no hope of seeing his friend with the wife.

"Ever heard of this clever little thing called a 'coverup'?"

"Since when do you hide things like that from people?"

"Um, since I discovered half of the women at central want to A. Insert me into their dream fantasy of happily ever after, or B. Tie me up and do nasty things to me. Both of which are very scary and do not need to be angered with the thought that I would choose Ed over any of them...In a heart beat."

"Oh?" Maes arched an eyebrow. "You've got a crush then eh?"

"What?" Roy looked at him.

"Well, you said Ed..." Hughes smile only grew larger.

"That was just a random name." Mustang looked away.

"It was not! You like him! I can tell when you lie!"

"Okay I lied. Don't tell Ed I said that though...He'll be mad I told you."

"Wait he knows?"

"Yes."

"Are you two...together?"

"Yes."

"How long has this been going on? A few weeks? Or what?" Hughes took a gulp from his glass looking at Roy.

"Two years tommorow."

Roy patted his friend's back as Hughes coughed violently from shock. And here Hughes thought he knew everything...

xxx


	13. How'd You Know?

**How'd you know?**

Roy watched the door open and in through it walked the muchly smaller form . Ed stood at the door, with his arms crossed and that, ever so familiar, scowl on his face. Riza was standing behind him as she saluted.

"Edward wanted to see you taisa." She said in a respectful tone.

"Very well, you are dismissed then." He answered. She saluted again before leaving and closing the door behind you.

Roy leaned back in his chair and smirked at the other alchemist. He chuckled to himself as certain thought ran throught his mind.

"Well, Fullmetal, what is it this time?"

"...What do I have to explain myself to you each time?"

"No, that's okay. Envy, you really don't have to." He smirked as 'Ed's' expression changed.

Envy, who was indeed disguised as Ed changed back to his own form and hopped on to Roy's desk, staring face to face with the colonel.

"How'd you know it was me?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Because Ed always greets me with a 'hello bastard'."

Envy scowled grabbing the collar of Roy's uniform and pulling him into a rather rough kiss. Not that Roy minded. Actually he liked the rough treatment he got from his 'supposed' lover. He pulled back and smirked.

"Besides...Ed just left five minutes ago." Roy chuckled.

"Oh? Tch, damn. And here I thought you were just that good. Oh well..." He looked away, then looked back with the wicked grin known only to him.

He pulled Roy out of his chair and threw him down, ever so gently, on the desk. It didn't take long for Roy to realize that the door was already locked and the blinds shut.

"You're going to break my back if you keep doing that. And you know, this is the reason I have Riza's gun pressed on my neck when I don't get my paper work done."

"Oh...you complain now...But like always, you won't be in about five minutes." Envy's grin only broadened as he pounced on Roy.

xxx


	14. Got You!

_WARNING: Spoilers for Ep. 25! Major spoofage! In other words, I'm taking a sad episode and making it funny. Please don't yell and scream at me...I mean no harm! That episode did make me cry. I'm not a heartless evil person! I just have a twisted sense of humor :3_

**Got you!**

It was a sad moment. Sad indeed. One would almost expect the sky to open up and pour the rain as the brown casket was saluted by the mass of the army. Major Maes Hughes was killed in action.

Among the people Roy stood. His mind lost in thought as the ceremony neared its end. The sound of Maes' daughter's questioning brought a pang of guilt to his heart. It wasn't that he knew she would never see him...No that wasn't why he felt guilty. It was something different entirely.

Roy watched as the lid of the casket began to slide off. Only he noticed it. Mainly because he was expecting it. Everyone looked up when it hit the ground making a loud thump.

Hughes in all his not-dead glory stood up with one foot up on the side of the casket. Roy put his face in his hands as a huge grin spread across the face of his best friend.

"HA HA HA! I GOT YOU! YES, I FOOLED YOU. YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES!" Maes laughed out loud.

Roy groaned as he heard the angry grunts of the soldiers around him...He told Maes it wasn't a good idea. But hell no...No one listens to Roy...Not when it's important anyways.

"HA HA HA!"

"Hughes!" Roy whispered harshly, but at a tone no one but Maes could hear.

Maes looked at Roy, who was not but ten feet from him. Roy discreetly pointed to the mass of army people. Hughes looked up noticing that each was very angry, and most of them were either state alchemists, or carrying weapons.

He laughed nervously, and he stepped back into the casket. "Oh yeah...Firing squad...Um...I think I'll Just go back in there now that I think about it...It was quite comfortable actually." He said scrambling to pull the heavy lid over the casket.

And so the ceremony went on. And as everyone left, Roy and Riza were the only two to remain. Looking down at the grave.

Sweat trickled down the side of the Colonel's face as he turned to face Riza. "Well let's begin digging him out."

"What will we do with him then?" Riza asked.

"Well, since they will kill him should he ever show his face again, I guess we'll just hide him somewhere."

"Colonel...why did you let him do this?"

"He blackmailed me."

"With what?"

"The fact that I have six buckets of blood in my dorm."

"Oh, I see."

The two continued pointless chat as they both worked hard to uncover their friends grave.

xxx


	15. Friends Like Brothers

**Friends Like Brothers**

I didn't take long for Hughes to notice Colonel Mustang was late for work. He was the first to question about it. He looked all over for his friend and asked other people if they'd seen him.

It was even more upsetting to know that no one could get in touch with him, and they were wondering as well. Hughes at that point took it upon him self to call Roy. The phone rang several time with no answer. He called four times with the same results. At this he began to worry. He grabbed his coat and left the office. Heading straight for Roy's living quarters...He arrived, and rapped on the door impatiently. When he got no answer, he began the menial taks of picking the lock.

With the lock picked he opened the door and stepped in. Roy's dorm was considerably clean...Give or take a few haplessly draw transmutation circles on the floor and books strewn about. Hughes had to chuckled to himself, he'd never pictured Roy to be much of a reader.

He immediately caught attention to the body laying half way on the bed and half on the floor. He walked over and kneeled next to Roy, clearly worried. He saw the phone on the floor, underneath the alchemists hand actually. It had been an obviously failed attempt to answer it.

He scooped Roy up in his arms and placed him back into his bed. He placed the back of his hand against the other's forehead. He was hot. His face was flushed and he was shivering.

Maes picked up the phone and dialed a few numbers, one to tell his superiors that Roy was too sick to work and to get permission to take the day off to care for him. And the second phone call was to Gracia, to tell her that he was going to stay with Roy while he was sick. She was quite understanding, much to his appreciation.

Hughes looked down at his sleeping friend, who had subconsciously grabbed his sleeve. He noticed Roy's shaking, clear sign he was chilled. Maes, who'd been taking care of his hapless friend for quite some time removed his shirt and slid into the bed with Roy, who immediately snuggled against the warmth of the Major's body.

He smiled. Mustang was so predictable. He treated himself like shit. That was obvious to everyone. He never took time to care for himself, instead immersed himself so deep into his work that he didn't have time. And his emotional status was always with ragged edges.

But that didn't stop Hughes from taking care of him. Roy was his best friend and someone had to. He had no problem with it. After all they were friends like brothers. And brothers are always there for each other. Even if they may not agree all the time.

So Hughes just smiled as Roy shifted feverishly against him for more body heat.

_**xxx**_


	16. When It Rains It Pours

**When it rains, it pours**

He couldn't for the life of him understand why the colonel liked the rain. Now you'd think, a Flame Alchemist would try to stay out of the rain. Maybe even hate it. But not Roy. He stood out in the open as the rain poured down, motioning for Ed to join him.

"Are you insane? It's pouring down rain!" Ed called out to him, wondering if he'd lost his mind...which was actually quite possible...

"Come on Ed! If I, the Flame Alchemist, is standing out in the pouring rain with out any issue, why's it bother you so?"

"I don't know, okay? Roy, did Riza finally go all out and shoot you in the head and you're not telling me?" Ed questioned, thinking of reasons why Roy was acting like a lunatic.

"Ed...haven't you ever just done something so pointless that is makes your day complete? Something so totally stupid that, while the others are laughing at you, you're smiling. Something so childish that, for at least one moment, you feel all of your pain just wash away?" The colonel looked at Ed, completely serious.

"Um..." Ed wondered exactly what Mustang was getting at.

"Well, there was a time where my life didn't revolve around the military...And Hughes and I would go outside when it was pouring rain and just have some fun. Like kids do...Some times it's nice to go back to that moment..."

Ed listen and the words sunk in. He stepped out into the open where the rain quickly soaked his form. Roy smiled as Ed moved closer to him and wrapped his smaller arms, one normal, one automail, around the older man's soaked body.

"I guess I can see where you're coming from...So why didn't you become like, the water Alchemist or something?" Ed asked, chuckling as Roy shook his soaked black hair out of his face.

"Because...I mean in comparison to my title now, how cool does that sound? Tch..."

Ed nearly facefaulted as he heard Roy's reasoning. "Bastard-sama Taisa...what am I gonna go with you?"

"Play in the rain with me. I know you're not too old for that now are you?" He winked at Ed.

"You asked for it!" Ed leapt on the colonel and the two fell in heap.

The rain came down harder...And the two simply put away their 'adult' responsibilities and enjoyed this unexpected shower...Because everyone knows...when it rains it pours...

xxx


	17. Hear Me Out

**Hear Me Out**

Yet again Roy found himself waking up in someone else's dorm room. He sighed as he stood up from the couch and slipped out of that person's room while they were still sleeping. As usual he got looks. Most of them disgusted looks. Of course they thought something completely opposite from what it really was.

Roy wasn't actually a womanizer...Though he certainly helped to act the part sometimes. Actually, his 'constant dating' was more like an excuse to a. get out of work, or b. get out of actually having to communicate with people after work hours.

How he ended up in another person's dorm room was completely different...Of course the glaring Ed standing in the hall ahead of him wouldn't make the situation much better.

"Sleeping with ANOTHER person eh?" Ed folded his arms. "Guess I'm not enough for you." Ed face was flushed with unspoken rage. Poor Roy wasn't even being given the chance to rightfully defend himself.

"Ed, that's not what you think!"

"Oh really? Then what was it!" The smaller one growled as Roy pulled him into his office, so that they weren't putting on some kind of soap opera to the other people.

"Ed, will you just hear me out?"

"You ALWAYS say 'it's not what it looks like'! And you NEVER actually explain yourself! So what am I supposed to believe?"

"If you'll shut up, I'll tell you." Roy looked down at him and Ed only glared more. "Okay, GASP HORROR SHOCK to the world I actually do stay behind to get things done. Occassionally I fall asleep at my desk. Some times, I make an attempt to go back to my dorm and I fall asleep half way there. Some one usually finds me and takes me into their dorm. And people assume something entirely different!"

Ed blinked...It all made sense. In a Royish kind of way. He sighed. "You better not be making that up."

"I'm not...Not to mention...That was Armstrong's room I just came out of..." Roy sweat dropped and chuckled.

"Oh...I'm sorry I ever accused you. I take it ALL back." Ed sweatdropped realizing that he had NOTHING to worry about after all.

**xxx**


	18. Disowned

**Disowned**

Roy was poised ready to snap his fingers and send flames to engulf his opponent, the ever shifting homunculus Envy, who was preparing for a dodge, followed by jump kicking the over confident colonel. Ed, who was just observing, rolled his eyes at the scene. They'd been fighting pointlessly for the last hour...both sending insults back and forth like preschoolers with knowledge of colorful words.

"Would you both cut it out?" Ed finally interupted.

"NO! I'M NOT DONE YET! I WILL BEAT HER!" Roy hollered back.

"You're going to lose! So just give up." Envy smirked.

"Oh really?"

"Yes...really."

"How's that?"

"Because I haven't used my secret weapon yet." Envy's grin spread wider.

"And what would that be?" Mustang inquired.

"I'm a guy, not a chick."

Roy passed out from shock. Envy jumped up and down happily, having won. And Ed...well...Ed decided he was disowning Roy as his colonel and Envy as his enemy.

xxx


	19. Make Out Session

**Make out Session**

"Roy?"

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me?"

"If you insist." Roy faked an efforted sigh. Ed's need for daily attention was not nessesarily seen as a bad thing. Actually he liked it when Ed asked directly for what he wanted.

Ed who has previously standing next to him while he was sorting through random papers on his desk, climbed into Roy's lap, smirking as a small smile touched the colonel's lips.

Roy snaked an arm around Ed's smaller body and pulled him closer. He arched his neck and brushed his lips against Ed's softly, smirking to himself as he felt a small shiver dance up Ed's spine. As it always seemed, Ed would easily melt into the older man's touch.

Ed parted his lips to allow Roy's tougue to dance with his, a sensation that always left butterflies fluttering in his stomach. That expert tongue, so willing to please, playing with the less experienced one, in a fasion that had both completely oblivious to time, or anything else for that matter.

A soft barely audible moan left Ed as Roy ran his togue along the alchemist's teeth. This brought back the affirmed knowledge that only Ed could make Roy so truely passionately focused. It was indeed one of his special qualities.

Moments passed. Long drawn out and very loving moments. Both pulled back slowly and Ed leaned his head against Roy's shoulder. The colonel smiled holding Ed closer. They were quite bitter with each other most times, but they did have a softer side to their relationship.

"Roy?"

"Hmm?"

"Should I schedule another make out session?" Ed smiled wryly.

Roy smirked, indeed he was a busy man. But he always found time for Edward.

"Heh...and perhaps I should start charging you rental fees for the use of my shirts as night clothes." He chuckled as Ed sighed burying his face into the older man's neck.

xxx


	20. Ticklish Spot

**Ticklish Spot**

"I bet you I can find your ticklish spot." Ed grinned leaning against Colonel Mustang's desk.

"What are you talking about? I have NO ticklish spots."

"Sure you do, everyone has at least one!" Ed held out his arms to make emphasis to his point.

"Well not me." Roy rolled his eyes at Ed's childishness.

"Care to bet on that?" A sly grin spread across the smaller one's face. If not to use it as black mail, it was a good opportunity to put his hands all over Roy.

"Fine, but if you lose you have to scrub my floors. On your hands and knees."

Ed blushed at Roy's clear innuendo. He looked away quickly then looked back, a smirk replastered on his face. "But If I win...I get to play with you as I please."

"Good luck then."

After a good ten minutes of poking and prodding Ed was a bit disturbed to find that he found no spot that even remotely made the colonel even shiver.

"Looks like I win." Mustang leaned back with a smirk.

Ed glared but then smiled. Placing a hand on the Colonel's spine, he leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I have one more idea."

"And what's tha-Gah!" A mix between a snort and snifled giggle left Roy, as Ed sprung his final resort on him.

"No, looks like I win." Ed grinned widely running his tongue against his superiors ear again, taking pleasure in the shiver that ran up the older man's spine, and the clearly obvious attempt to keep from laughing.

"You cheat."

"Hey you never said it had to be a pokable ticklish spot." Ed grinned widely, basking in his victory.

xxx


	21. Bored

**Bored**

Bored, that's what they were. There was no other word to describe the immense feeling of boredom. And that word seemed to display in both of their minds like a blinking sign...Oh yes, they were, with out any shadow of a doubt, Bored.

Niether really had anything to do. Nothing that was appealing to them at least, as one could easily see the items piling on Roy's desk.

POKE

This random and pointless act amused Ed. So he did it again, lightly jabbing Roy in the side with a fleshy finger.

This caught Roy's attention. He looked over at Ed and blinked. Two could play at that game. So indeed he jabbed a finger into Ed's side.

POKE

Ed blinked and narrowed his eyes. His ever so competitive nature kicked in and he conter attacked.

POKE POKE

But Roy didn't relent. He continued, smiling to himself as he watched Ed become frusterated.

POKE POKE POKE

Unbeknownst to Ed, he'd let out a small growl as he realized he was being out done in his own little game.

POKE POKE POKE POKE

Roy fought the urge to chuckle at the smaller one, who seemed to get so frusterated over the smallest things.

POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE

Ed, finally getting irritated, after all he didn't figure the colonel would play back, decided to use his last resort.

"If you poke me one more time, I'll stick my tongue in your ear again."

Roy sighed and conceded defeated.

POKE

Ed smiled as his last pointless jab closed the book on yet another victory. Oh yes...They were definately bored...

xxx


	22. Overheard

**Overheard**

Ed stood outside the Colonel's office, with an expression on his face that was somewhat between shock, utter horror and pure rage. He could hear the two voices on the other side of the door. And having staked his claim on Roy already, he was finding the conversation between him and Havoc to be somewhat of a disturbance to his assuming mind.

"Look, ow, would you quit that?" Roy's voice sounded partially muffled.

"Hey, you're the one who special requested ME to do this." Havoc mumbled, knowing it not to be wise to back talk Roy.

"I'm your superior, you have no right to refuse anyways. And-Look, quit pulling so tight, damn it, if Ed finds out, I'm-"

"If you'll keep your voice down he won't. And I can slip out of here unnoticed, and your precious pride won't be crushed. But you know-"

"Yes, I know, I already gave her your address. Now will you just finish what you're doing?"

"Fine fine."

"And put out that damn cigarette."

The sound of Havoc scoffing and Roy's jerky whines made Ed want to blow down the door and strangle them both.

"Where'd you learn to do that by the way?" Roy's voice got quiter, like he was facing away from the door.

"Just something I picked up."

"Nyuh! Quit pulling so hard! And hurry up or I'll be late."

"I'm sure Ed can wait a few more minutes."

Ed coudn't take it a moment longer. He grasped the door knob and flung the door open, hearing the loud bang as it smacked against the wall. His mouth was steady ready to expel some foul accusations, when he actually took in the scene.

Roy was all decked out in black slacks, with a black handsomely talored over jacket, and the white dress shirt that completed the tuxedo. Havoc was standing in front of him focused on the tie he had grasped in his hands. Both turned and looked to see Ed standing in the door with an expression that equaled bewilderment on his face.

"Oh...damn...Um...Looks like we blew the surprise, um catch ya later colonel." Havoc scurried past Ed, out the door, leaving poor Roy to try and explain himself.

"Damn bastard...If he had quit pulling..." Roy mumbled as his eyes fell on Ed. "Um...I can't...I don't know how to tie and tie okay?"

"At least that's better than what I thought I'd overheard...Taisa, that sounded really bad from the outside, I just hope you know that." Ed chuckled at Roy's clumbsy attempt to finish tying it himself. His heart steadied as his anger subsided.

"Get on your knees." Was all Ed said. Roy looked up at him and nearly choked.

"W-what?"

"I can't tie it with you standing up." Ed said looking away, a little sore on his lack of height.

"And here you thought what YOU over heard sounded wrong." Both Ed and Roy looked back to see Havoc walking past the open door, after realizing he went the wrong direction the first time.

Both blushed slightly. Oh, yes...The human mind LOVES to assume, doesn't it?

xxx


	23. That's My Toothbrush

**That's My Toothbrush**

"So, how late you working tonight?" Ed spoke scrubbing his teeth with the toothpaste covered brush.

"Depends on how much I get done at the office." Roy replied buttoning his under shirt, and slipping into his over jacket.

"Guh, you never get anything done, until the last minute!" Ed whinned.

"You come do my paper work for a day, and you see how much fun it is."

"Can't you pawn it off on someone else."

"I could...If I wanted Riza's gun against my head."

"It's not like she'd shoot." Ed rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to test that theory. Her gun and PMS would be all it'd take." Roy said idly bottoning his jacket. He noticed Ed's blush. "Geeze, you don't hang around females much do you?"

"No," he mumbled with the toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.

"You make it so blatantly obvious."

"Well excuse me mr. skirt chaser."

"Does that mean you'll wear a skirt?" Roy looked at him hopefully. Ed snorted and went back into the bathroom, fully aware that Roy was folling behind.

"By the way, that's my toothbrush you're using." Roy said idly leaning against the door frame, fully aware that he was going to be late...Again.

Ed pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth and looked at his. The letters R.O.Y. Written in black sharpie marker clearly marked who it belonged to.

"Mmm...Seems it is." Ed walked over to Roy and stuck it in the older man's mouth. "Sorry bout that, I tend to not pay attention to things when arguing with you."

"You had it before that, and that was wrong on more levels than I care to share." Roy said not even bothering to pull out the shared brush.

"What? You stick your tongue down my throat furthur than that brush ever goes." Ed smirked as Roy looked away and headed toward the door.

"I'll be back tonight." He mumbled, walking out the door, toothbrush and all.

Ed smiled, tallying another win for the Fullmetal alchemist.

xxx


	24. Hangman

**Hangman**

Ed and Roy were sitting on the steps just outside of the headquarter's building. With a clip board a pencil and a sheet of paper, the two set about amusing themselves.

Ed, who took his turn in scritching the underscores on the paper, carefully thought out a sentence for the Colonel to guess. Twenty three marks later, Ed divided a box into letter used and non used.

"Okay, pick a letter."

"Um...Q" Roy chuckled to himself.

"Are you serious?"

"No, heh, okay how about s?"

"Okay, there are some." Ed marked in the places that had the said letter . ... ... ..s... ...s.

"Okay, I'll pick B, because I know the word bastard is in there somewhere."

Ed snickered to himself. Roy seemed to know him well enough. . ... ... b.s... ...s.

"Um..A."

. ... ... bas.a.. .a.sa

"Well I know what that last word is, T."

. ... ... basta.. ta.sa

"Obviously there's an I."

I ... ... basta.. taisa

"Okay, there's an R and D, I know that."

I ... ... bastard taisa

"Um...oh hell...Um...N?"

"Nope!" Ed smiled as he drew the first part of the stick figure.

"Okay...um...H?"

"Wrong again!" Another part went on the paper.

"Well that rules out the word hate...how many letters does the word loathe have in it?...nevermind, um...O? Wait do I have to buy a vowel first?"

Ed stifled a giggle. "Yes, now give me five bucks! Just kidding, there is an O."

I .o.. .o. bastard taisa

"Well that second word is .you."

I .o.. you bastard taisa

Roy looked at the paper for a moment, trying to decifer what that word could be. After many long moments it finally hit him.

"Ah! That's L.O.V.E!" Roy stopped and looked at the message on the paper. He blinked then looked directly at Ed, who smiled, with a slight blush.

"I'm resisting the urge to jump you and smother you with kisses, do you know that?"

"Well don't resist on my account!"

Roy leaned over to Ed, not even caring that he was getting strange looks. 'Well, a little 'I love you' goes a long way, when you're in love with the best kisser in the world.' Ed thought to himself.

xxx


	25. Denial

**Denial**

"Do you really think he won't notice?"

"Well come on! He's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. Nor is he what I would call perceptive..."

"Roy, I think you're underestimating Ed, just a 'little'."

"Maes, I think you underestimate me!"

"Really now? Come on! He WILL notice!"

"Well, it's not really that big a deal anyways!"

"I don't think he'll see it that way."

"What does he know?"

"Well, he's not THAT predicable, and by the way have you-"

"Yes, Maes, I've seen that picture. And how is it really all that bad?"

"It...just is."

"Oh give me a break! I mean it's not like it'll be that way forever!"

"He's gonna freak when he finds out what you did."

"GOD! It's not my fault! It was an ACCIDENT! Maybe if I wait until it's dark outside and the lights are low, he won't see it."

"Roy, your hair is neon orange and you don't think he'd see it?" Hughes raised an eyebrow.

"Look, I'm in denial here...Let me hope okay?" Roy sighed brushing back his brightly dyed hair.

Indeed, it had been an accident...But that wouldn't stop him from denying that he could be spotted from three miles away. Denial...What a wonderful human device.

xxx


	26. Way to a Man's Heart

**Way to a man's heart**

Roy wasn't much of the type to publically admit he liked to cook. Or at least was pretty good at it. That is when he actually decided to eat... So Ed was pretty special to be invited to the colonel's house for dinner.

Ed poked about the kitchen a bit. Watching Roy silently as he chopped vegetables and stirred things in pots. He was slightly surprised to find that his superior seemed to actually know what he was doing. Being the Flame Alchemist and all Ed half expected Roy to burn something, if not everything.

Roy smiled to himself as he heard the growling of Ed's stomach. "It'll be ready soon. You should sit down."

"Fine fine." Ed walked over to the table and plopped down in a chair, his eyes still fixed on Roy.

With his untucked blue button up shirt and the slacks that were just a little too long for him, and covered up everything but his toes, Roy seemed normal. At that moment Ed couldn't picture him as his colonel. He seemed much different than the military man he was used to working with.

"Well it's done! You better eat it. other wise I'll have left overs for weeks." Roy said placing the plate in front of Ed.

At that moment he could have told Ed he was eating alchemy inhanced shit, and as long as the word 'edible' followed it wouldn't have even made it into the shorter alchemist's brain. Ed was all but eating the plate and silverware as well as the actual edible part.

"Wow, this is good." Ed said with his mouth still stuffed.

"Good, because I'm sure you're going to eat more, yes?"

"Oh yeah! Seconds please!" Ed wiped his mouth and smiled.

Roy, already knowing the mass amount the small boy could stuff into his mouth picked up the pot, he'd already designated as Ed's and set it infront of the boy on the table.

"Wow..." Ed looked at him. "Wow...I mean wow! I LOVE YOU!" Ed screamed happily digging into the massive amounts of spaghetti.

"Well you know what they say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Roy chuckled to himself, going about putting things away.

xxx


	27. Dream

**Dream**

Every one has weird dreams. And Roy was no exception. Varying from demonic plush kittens to the end of the world themes, he'd thought he'd dreamt everything possible. Until Ed entered the picture.

Now, it wasn't a typical dream. No this was way weirder. Something along the lines of Roy getting killed, by something. Ed transmuting him, then failing, and Roy ends up as a toaster. Then the two elope and Al runs away with Scar, who was transmuted into a can opener. Yes, weird indeed.

Then the next day at work, Roy was steady giving Ed weird looks, as if to say, 'don't turn me into a toaster'. Not to mention he was also looking both ways before crossing the street.

"Hey colonel," Roy sighed hearing Ed walk into the room. His loud boisterous subordinate always had SOMETHING to complain about.

"Yes Ed?"

"I had this really weird dream, and I needed someone to tell it to so I can forget about it."

"Must it be me?" Roy leaned he head on his hand propped by his elbow."

"Yes, now it was really weird. You got killed, I don't remember what killed you though. Then I tried to revive you and I failed. Miserably. And then you came back as a toaster. And then we ran away and got married in the mountains and Al and Scar showed up and ran away together but Scar had been transmuted into a can opener..." Ed stopped, looked at Roy and started again. "Wasn't that weird?"

Roy looked at Ed increduously. Then stood up and grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

"Hey where are you going?"

"To lock myself in a closet for twelve weeks. They say if more than one person has the same dream it'll come true...I don't want to be a toaster..."

Roy exited the room and shut the door leaving a very bewildered Ed behind.

xxx


	28. Yay for Fire II

**Yay for Fire II!**

Roy hated trains. He hated them a lot. He never knew why. He just did. They were noisy and dangerous. They were not his favorite transportation device, that was certain.

"Come on Mustang, we're going to miss the train." Hughes prodded his friend.

"I'm not getting on the train."

"Oh quit whining! Let's go!" Hughes pushed Roy to the train and attempted to push him in the large machine.

"I'm NOT getting on it!" Roy stationed an a hand to each side of the door way and held his postition there. He was NOT moving.

"Roy! Maybe this will move you!" He pulled out numerous picture of his wife.

"That's not going to work this time!" Roy spoke through gritted teeth. "You're not getting me on that train."

"Rooooy! We HAVE to be there tommorow!"

"Then we'll walk."

"But, But that's 100 miles!"

"I'm not getting on this thing, and quit pushin me, I'm not budging."

"You're being unreasonable!"

"No I'm not and if you even THINK about trying to 'pursuade' me with those knife things, then I'll torch you!" Roy threatened.

After a moment of going over in his mind what he'd just said a particularly good idea came to mind.

"Hey uh Maes, if there anything flamable in the area?" Roy asked with a hint of innocence added, to keep his friend from questioning.

"Um, they're shipping oil and gas in the cargo hold, so yeah. Wait, why?"

His question was quickly answered as Roy snapped his gloved fingers...

xxx


	29. Obsessive

**Obsessive**

"Must you do that in public?" Roy grumbled.

"What? I'm only showing my affections for you!"

"When did you get that ..um...obsessive Maes?"

"I'm not obsessive!"

"Your arm his still glued around my waist."

"That's what lovers do!"

"Okay, then try the half a dozen pictures of me you have in your wallet."

"I want to have you every where I go!"

"The picture you have of me that's under your pillow."

"It helps me sleep."

"The one you kiss goodnight on your desk when you leave."

"A good luck charm."

"The one taped to the bathroom mirror."

"Makes me smile."

"The one next to your alarm clock."

"I want you to be the first thing I see!"

"The entire photo album."

Hughes looked a Roy, who had stopped and turned to face him.

"I am obsessive aren't I?"

"Just slightly." Roy smiled lightly and rested his head against Maes shoulder as the two continued to walk.

xxx


	30. Not Fair

**Not Fair**

Roy walked down the hall to his office. A place he dreaded going to. Riza was quite a stubborn woman when it came to him getting his paperwork done. And she was certainly not one to hold back on threatening him with her hand gun. He casually walked past Jean Havoc. His hand brushed against the other's shoulder, dipped into the front pocket of the man's jacket confiscating the contents and plucking the cigarette from his mouth all in one fluid sweep.

"Hey..." Havoc looked at Roy pouting.

"Smoking is prohibited in the building. Not to mention it's a bad habit anyways." Roy said walking into his office, fully aware that Havoc was following him.

"But...But."

"No buts. As your superior, I'm demanding that you not carry out this habit when you're around me."

"Oh come on! You can't use your rank for something like that!" Havoc started but noticed the sly look on Roy's face, "okaaaay, maybe you can...But...That's not fair!"

"I never said I had to be fair."

"Geeze, you're a piece of work Roy." Havoc sighed scratching the back of his head.

"Well, be thankful, if Riza found you sucking that smoke down like an idiot kid with a new can of spray paint, then she'd have opened fire on you."

"You make it sound like I'm doing something that could damage something important!"

"Your lungs aren't? Well at least I won't have to listen to you blubber like a child after the bottom of your lungs fall out..."

"Aren't you just a ray of sunshine today..."

Roy placed a hand on Havoc's face with some gentleness and smiled. "Besides, I'm not going to kiss a mouth that tastes like tar."

Jean slumped his shoulders, realizing he had little chance of winning on that topic. Of course then he got an interesting idea.. "Fine...I'll stop smoking, if you start doing your paper work on time."

"What! That's not fair!"

"Well, how 'bout it?"

"Fine," Roy grumbled, "Go ahead and smoke your cancer sticks...But you better make sure I can't taste, smell, see or hear it!"

"Hear it?"

"Shut up."

xxx


	31. Game

**Game**

Among the many other games the two played when they were bored. One particular game always deemed entertaining to the two. They played this game nearly every day. Some times they even started it with out realizing it.

The object of this game, is to see who can come up with the longest string of insults and/or death threats in one breath. Most people took this for literal. But in all acuality the two were simply playing.

"Shut up you stupid bastard, I hope you die."

"Go to hell damn half pint shrimp. Get lost under a rock or something."

"Who are you calling SHRIMP? You idiot pyro!"

"Oh I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you, you're too far away, or should I say to far down?"

"Maybe that's just your old age, you dumbass."

Now, most people would be curious about such behavior. Riza happened to be like most people.

She knocked on the door just after Ed had screamed the eighth curse word in the sting of obscenities he'd been ranting off.

"Yes?" Roy found his voice.

"Um, colonel sir," Riza saluted. "I'm must voice my concern for your behavoir around each other."

"It's okay-" Roy was interupted.

"Sir, I think that the two of you should try to get along instead of swearing and throwing death threats at each other."

"Riza-"

"You must know that your subordinates are concerned for how you act to each other and-"

"RIZA!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Um...We're just playing a game..."

"A...Game?" She blinked. "Um...Sorry to disturb you." Riza saluted and turned to leave, and Roy heard her mumble, "Mother was right, boys are stupid."

xxx


	32. Disturbing Image

**Disturbing Image**

Roy walked into the den where he and Hughes were relaxing as good friends tend to do. He handed a glass to Maes and stood by the fire place. The two didn't really see much of eachother anymore. Roy was too busy cleaning up after the messes Ed made and Maes was tending to his family.

It was nice for the two to get time to talk again. For two people so very different, they were pretty close. Even if Maes tended to annoy the crap out of Roy.

Roy downed the class of what was obviously alchohol of some sort. Roy promptly hit the floor.

This might have startled Hughes if he was not already used to Roy passing out after, oh let's say...glass 19. Hughes stood up and walked over to Roy. He kneeled down next to him.

"Roy?" He nudged. "You in there?"

"Nuu..." Roy spoke slurred.

"Have you EVER been in there?" Maes smiled to himself, this always amused him.  
Roy shook his head in a tired flailing manner.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" He questioned propping his elbow on his knees and his head on his hands, while looking down at his plastered pal.

"Ish somsin to duu?" Roy blinked slowly.

"Something to do? God, I'd hate to see what you DO for FUN..."

"Ed!"

"I didn't need to hear that, pal, I really didn't. Actually that's a disturbing image Roy. You need to pass out now, okay?" Hughes rubbed Roy's back as he drifted. He picked him up and put him on the couch, covering him with a blanket.

Maes walked out side. And promtly banged his head against the nearest concrete object. That's one image, he'd rather not picture his two friends in. Well, not in THAT specific position anyways...

xxx


	33. Why Roy Hates Paperwork

**Why roy hates paper Work**

Roy sighed picking up his pen. Paper work wasn't bad. It just wasn't the highlight of his day. He'd rather be doing other things...But he sucked up his distaste and began to scritch his signature on different papers with the black ink pen.

He was finding this to be much like a clock work. It was more of a no brainer activity. And he kept like this through almost three hundred documents...Until he heard the loud crash.

He jumped back as the large, momentarily unidentifiable object hurled itself through is window. Crashing into his desk. Along with this object which uncovered itself to be the broken remains of a teapot, there was also the gust of wind.

Roy cursed rather loudly as he ran back and forth trying to recover all of the airborn papers. Only to succeed in papercutting his ungloved hands in thirty seven places.

He stacked the papers, now smeared in blood, then grabbed at his jacket ripping off the sleeves to wrap around his hands, so he could do down to the first floor to retrieve the papers that flew out the window. He headed toward the door, and his heel landed on the end of his pen, which had been blown off the edge of his desk.

He hit the floor, and not two seconds later the pen exploded covering half of him with a black spray. He cursed again. This time he took off his over shirt, and stood up grumbling. He walked out, not even bothering with the black smears on his face.

Roy ignored the looks he was recieving. He stepped out side and looked around finding none of the papers he'd remembered seeing float to the ground. Several colorful obscenities left his mouth as he looked around thinking maybe the wnd carried them else where.

"Taisa!"

He turned around. Seeing no one, he blinked.

"Taisa!"

He looked up to see Hawkeye leaning out his office window.

"I was looking for you! I saw these papers fly out the window and came to bring them to you." He heard her say. She must have gone the long way up.

Roy growled. "I hate paperwork..." He began to walk back up the long flight of steps. Not two seconds later he got whammed in the back of the head with an airborn teacup.

"Grandma! Stop that! You shouldn't throw things! You could hit someone!" He heard as he found him self staring up at the sky from his sprawled out position after falling down the steps and landing on the last one. Oh yes, he HATED paperwork.

xxx


	34. Note Passing

**Note Passing**

Roy walked down the hall tiredly. He passed Ed and walked passed casually. Slipping a folded sheet of paper to the boy, who was growling like he normally would, as he slipped off his own piece of paper.

This was a little daily habit the two had formed. An easier way to communicate, than to actually make excuses to the others why they needed to speak. Note passing became an easy, and beneficial tactic, to avoid curious gazes, cough Hughes cough.

Roy slipped the paper Ed left with him into his pocket until he'd arrived in his office. He dismissed his subordinates and pulled the paper out.

He noticed the red ink, written half diagonally on the paper. It was a question, with a large question mark nearly dominating half the page.

'Hey, damn it, when am I comin over?' Were the words printed on the wrinked medium.

Roy chuckled to him self. His own note would have been almost to the same degree of Ed's question...His read, 'hey, when you coming over half pint?'. Roy pulled out his pen and skritched a quick reply, and walked over to his window.

Sure enough the blonde was just walking out of the building. Roy leaned against the window sill as he folded the sheet in half and tucked back the flaps, then curling them under, pulling the corners back. He opened his window and leaned out enough to get Ed in full view.

He carefully shot the newly folded paper plane directly at Ed. The plane swerved under and nestled between Ed's neck and shoulder, catching on his shirt. The colonel took a moment to laugh out loud as he watched Ed freak out, jumping up and down and screaming bloody murder at the object that had 'attacked' him.

Roy smiled closing the window, before Ed could see him. He walked back over to his desk, sat down and leaned back. He grinned to himself. Ed would surely turn colors from his little reply...

'I guess the office is getting boring neh? After twleve times, I guess it would...Meet me tonight. Roy.' Beside it was a sloppy smiley face, with its tongue sticking out.

Yeah...If Ed caught the innuendo...He was sure to be turning fifty shdes of red...

...Or possibly, running back up to the colonel's office...

It startled Roy when Ed walked into his office, closing the door behind him, and throwing his coat on the rack...

...hmmm...make that number twelve a thirteen...

xxx


	35. Priceless

**Priceless**

Ed slumped against the seat of one of the cafeteria tables. Nothing exciting had happened yet. At least nothing that had entertained him...He was just happy to have a moment to himself. Al was with Winry, and most of Mustangs subordinate's were doing something, if not trying not to get shot, by an unusually moody Riza.

He looked up and groaned upon seeing Hughes...he knew that there would be an endless picture show and tell...But then he saw Roy being dragged by an arm...By Hughes... If that wasn't an odd scene..

"Maes, let go of me! Damn it! You call yourself a friend!"

Ed blinked curiously as Hughes spotted him.

"OI! Edward!" He waved with a huge smile on his face.

"Eh..hello..." He smiled nervously.

"I'm not kidding Maes! I'll kill you! I will!" Roy was blubbering while trying to get out of the bigger man's grip.

"Oh come on Roy, what's the worst that can happen?"

"LOTS OF THINGS! I thought I could trust you with a stupid secret?"

"Secret?" Ed's ears perked.

"Oh yes, you see Roy's got a-"

Ed jumped back when he saw Roy actually jump up on Maes back and pull back on Hughes face knocking his glasses off, and ripping the man's coat sleeve. That's not something you see every day...

"Ouch, Roy come on, if you won't tell then-ow!" Ed's stepped away frightened as he watched the colonel go Mike Tyson on Hughes. "Ow Ow..Okay! Ow! Stop chewing on my ear please!"

"Then don't tell Ed I like him and I won't!"

...several moments pass...

Roy blinked. He jumped down, closed his eyes, despite his embarrassed face, and walked away.

Ed watched him go...Then looked at Hughes...and had to grin...

Price for new glasses $120 Price for new coat sleeve $67 Seeing Roy's embarrassed face as he unknowingly admits his secret with out wanting to...priceless...

xxx


	36. Your Fault

**Your fault**

Roy stood in front of the bathroom mirror. He heard Ed waking up. He turned his head to see Ed's groggy face appear in the door way.

"G'morning." The blonde mumbled.

"What's good about it?" Roy replied.

"You're alive."

"What's good about it?"

"And you call me depressing."

"You ARE depressing."

"Tch, what ever." Ed stepped in the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, making sure it was his this time.

Ed watched as Roy turned the sink faucet on and stuck his head under the water, lathering up shampoo in his hair.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Roy asked, even though he could hardly hear him.

"Wash your hair in the morning."

"That's your fault."

"MY fault?"

"Yes."

"How so?"

"If you would stop chewing on my hair in the middle of the night I wouldn't have to."

"It's not my fault your hair smells like strawberries!" Ed defended himself.

"It's Raspberry." Roy replied.

"Shut up."

xxx


	37. You Started It

**You started it**

Roy snuck into his bedroom. Locking the door behind him. The last evening he'd gotten quite the surprise when Ed had snuck in while he was showering. The little fullmetal alchemist had tip toed into the bathroom and waited until Roy turned the water on. Then he slipped a hand behind the curtain and ran it up the colonel's leg...successfully scaring the living hell out of him, it didn't help when he slipped in the shower either.

Roy was not determined to have a repeat performance. Though, he did like that Ed at least stayed to help him out...

He made sure to check around his room, so that he was sure that Ed was no where to be seen. That was one of the things Ed enjoyed the most. Catching him while he was in a vulnerable position. Talk about tough love.

While slipped out of most of his uniform, wearing only his pants, he sighed walking into his bathroom. He flipped the light on, and threw a change of clothes on his sink counter.

He pulled back the curtain to turn the water on, and nearly had a heart attack, stroke and seisure all at once when he came face to face with a pair of gold eyes. Roy let out an unusual shrieky noise and stepped back, tripping over the bunched up rug. He fell back on the floor and groaned.

"Why do you do this to meee..."

"Because it amuses me. And you're cute when strange noises come out of you." Ed smiled hopping out of the shower and kneeling beside Roy, wearing one of Roy's large button up shirts.

"That's ten bucks by the way."

"Wha? For what?"

"Rent for wearing my shirt."

"You're a meanie."

"You started it."

xxx


	38. You Sure?

**You sure?**

It was quiet in the house, for the most part. Everything was dark since the lights were off. Then a loud screech broke out. Almost loud enough to rattle glass.

"Ed! Good god. Are you okay?"

"No..." Ed replied from behind Roy. He had jumped out of Roy lap and actually forced his way behind Roy's back into the couch. Ed look much like an osterich burying it's head in fear.

Roy wanted to laugh, he really did. Ed's body was curled up beside him while the boy's face was buried in his back.

"It's okay Ed, it's over okay?"

"You sure?"

"Yes I'm sure."

"Positive?"

"Absolutely. Come on, so we can watching the rest of it."

"Nothing's going to scare me?"

"No Ed."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"You 100 percent sure?"

"I'M POSITIVE!"

"Okay!"

Ed uncurled himself from behind Roy and snuggled back into the colonel's lap, so the two could finish watching their movie.

"Though I do think you should know Independence Day is NOT a scary movie."

"Shut up."

xxx


	39. Little Reminders

**Little Reminders**

Roy slumped into his chair and looked at his desk. He couldn't help but crack a small smile. The mess that overtook what used to be his work space should not have deemed funny too him. But he couldn't help but find it amusing. He was used to Ed's little reminders by now.

Ed reminders were simple things that Ed did to show that he did CARE about Roy. However odd these little acts may have seemed.

For instance. When Ed took a permanent marker to Roy's office door. A purple marker, may that be emphasized. And Wrote in over dramatic lettering, that might have been considered graffiti, 'HE'S MIIINNNEEEE! Thank you, Ed'.

Or perhaps the time, he taped a sign to Roy's back that said the same thing as his door.

Or maybe when Ed transmuted an umbrella into a giant heart...while they were walking in the rain, mind you.

Or perhaps when Ed jumps out of the third story window, as Roy walks up to the HQ steps. Albiet Roy catches him...After the heart attack, that is.

Or maybe the lunches Ed makes him...Even if they give him food poisoning...

Or how about the time Ed threw a surprise birthday party for him. That was nice. Even if he almost broke an arm.

Which brings back the reason why Roy found his desk entirely too funny. Centered in the middle, transmuted perfectly was what Roy could only guess to be a swan statue, made out of his desk...That's right people, Roy's desk was now a giant swan sculpture with wooden legs...

Why a swan? He thought to himself. Then he quickly concluded he was better off, and safer, not knowing...

Though Roy loved Ed's little reminders... it was about time to tell Ed that a nice little 'I love you' works just fine...

Yes indeed...

xxx


	40. Shut Up

**Shut Up**

Roy blinked as he watched Ed zip around at unusual speeds. Going here and there, wash rags in tow. He had the supressed urge to turn around and sneak out as Ed overtook his dorm room, moving things here and there.

"Um...Ed.."

"Hold this." Ed stuffed a pile of clothes in Roy's arms.

"Wait, what, why!" Roy could not seem to form a complete sentence as the pile in his arms grew larger.

The shorter alchemist disappeared into Roy's bathroom. The colonel groaned as he could hear more of his personal space being invaded.

"Fullmetal, can't you leave it like it is!"

"What? Are you crazy, this place is trashed."

"I like it like that!"

"But I don't!"

"So in order to move in you have to change it?"

"Yes."

"Damn, you're so feminine, you think like a girl."

"Shut up."

Roy walked back to the door, watching Ed, silently sulking in his defeat.

"I didn't hear you protest." He grumbled.

"Shut up...bastard."

xxx


	41. Bet

**Bet**

"Ten bucks says he reaches 13." Havoc spoke huffing on the lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he sat back with his feet propped on Hughes' desk.

"Well this twenty here, say it's 16." Hughes grinned, marking a check on the tally sheet in front of him, as he leaned with both elbows propped on his desk.

"I think you're both wrong." Riza sighed standing in the door way.

"Really? What do you think?"

"I'm not betting Major," She closed her eyes.

"Aw come on. How often does this happen? I think it's worth making a sport out of it." Jean smiled, then frowned as Riza plucked the cigarette out of his mouth...again.

"Aren't you guys going to help him?" Ed's voice caught attention as he walked into the room.

"Nah, he's fine...Oh well there goes 11." Maes skritched another mark on the paper.

"Only two to go before I win, Major."

"Yeah right, until he does it again."

"Um...what are they betting on?" Ed looked up at Lieutentant Hawkeye.

Riza sighed and glanced out the door as Roy walked by again. "Well, you see, due to building construction, some of the tiles in the floor have pulled up...Doing everything last minute Colonel Mustang has to run back and forth to get things done...And he seems to forget about the tiles and falls over them."

"And they're betting on how many times he falls?"

"Yes..."

All watched as Roy came by again. And like before tripping over the tile and landing flat on his face.

"That's twelve."

Ed sighed and walked out of the room to Roy, he clapped his hands together and placed them both against the floor.

"AW man...!" Jean sighed as he watched the tiles being fixed by Ed's alchemy.

"Roy, you can get up now." Ed said kneeling next to the colonel.

"I seem to be meant for laying face down on this floor so I'll stay here." Roy replied.

"Ten bucks says he's there for ten minutes."

"Twenty says he's there for fifteen."

Ed heard the two changing their bet. He sighed and pulled Roy off the floor. "And to think you people get paid for this..." He grumbled dragging Roy down the hall.

xxx


	42. Ed Was Here

**Ed Was Here**

"Sir, the papers have...um...been filed!" Riza saluted Roy as she stood before him in his office, while he was stationed behind his desk.

"Thank you for taking them, it's much appreciated. Have the messaages to Havoc and Fury been delivered?"

"Yes sir, Havoc has been told that there is to be no smoking indoors, Fury has been told no more strays and both have been told that they are not allowed to do um...things...in the lunch lobby."

"Thank you, I'm sure that was uncomfortable."

"Yes, but they have agreed." Riza replied after a slight hesitation.

"Lieutenant, something seems to be distracting you, care to indulge my curiosity?" The colonel asked leaning his head on his folded hands, propped by his elbows.

"Not really sir."

"Then may I have you tell me anyways, as an order?"

Riza sighed. She hated being the one to have to tell him...She calmly walked oevr the the colonel and pulled him out of his chair. He shot her a questioning glance as he was pulled across the room by the gun wielding woman.

"Sir, if I may ask you to look in the mirror."

Roy blinked but complied. He glanced into the mirror hanging on the wall and a frown spread on his lips. Though it was backwards in the mirror's reflection Roy could easily make out the words written with a felt tip marker across his forehead: 'Ed was here'.

"Sir, I'm sure it'll come out after a few washes..."

"DAMN IT ED!"

"Maybe kitchen cleaner would work. I'll um..go find something to help you remove it." Riza saluted and left quickly.

"Oooh, Edward...I hope you know you're going to get it..." Roy seethed. As he walked over to his desk and plopped down in his chair. He slammed his head down on his desk and sighed. "Why do I put up with this...?"

xxx


	43. This Belongs To Roy

**This belongs to Roy**

Ed yawned as he walked out of the building to meet up with Al. He was tired. Of course. Roy didn't help him too much, making him go on all sorts oferrands. Ed hopped off the last step and approached Al.

"Let's go Al. I'm done for today."

"You went to see the colonel?"

"Yeah, he only gave me MORE orders. He's being a real crab ass. I wonder what's got him so upset. And it was weird, lots of the officers were laughing at me as I left the building."

"Maybe there's a joke going around..." Alphonse suggested as he followed next to Ed as they trekked down the street.

"Or a rumor."

"There's thinking positive, niisan."

"What? I wouldn't expect any less from them. Besides, these were snickers, not laughs..."

"Oh."

"I wish I knew why Roy was giving me the cold shoulder...I mean, he didn't crack on thing about my hieght. He must be mad at me..." Ed sighed folding hi hands behind his head.

"Well, um, he's probably mad about what you wrote on his forehead niisan..."

"That shouldn't have made him so...calm! He was supposed to get mad! And yell and scream and then jump me like a dog in heat!"

"Niisan, too much!"

"Sorry, forget that, but still he should at LEAST be mad!" Edward sighed in defeat, confused by Roy's behavoir.

"Niisan...stop for a minute." Al spoke as he caught sight of something attached to Edward's back. He pulled it off and sighed. "Niisan..." He handed the paper to Ed.

"What's..." He read it...'This belongs to Roy, if lost, please return to owner.' ...Ed's eye twitched as he growled. "ROOOOOOOOYYYYYY!"

Roy stood at the window above Ed and chuckled to himself. He felt better at least.

xxx


	44. God Only Knows

**God Only Knows**

"Roy why do you have a gun." Ed asked boredly tracing the gun at Roy's side. "I've never seen you use it, and when you do it's used to grab attention..."

Roy looked at Ed curious as to why this question was presented. Not that he wouldn't answer...

"Well...as military personal, we're required to carry them."

"Then why don't I have one?"

"Ummm..." Roy questioned that himself. "Maybe you have to be nay tall to carry it?" Roy stifled a chuckle as he held his hand out about where his chest was...many odd inches above Ed's head...

"Very funny bastard." The shorter alchemist snorted, giving the colonel a feirce glare. "Seriously, why can't I have one? Am I not old enough? Or what?"

"You're old enough." Roy replied simply shrugging.

"Then why can't I?"

"Wait, why do you want one?"

"I don't!"

"Then why ask!"

"I want to know!"

Roy thought a moment. That was an odd thing for someone, who can just transmute his arm into a gun, to ask. But hell, who's he to turn down Ed's question...

"Well you see...we actually have a very good reason."

"And what's that?" Ed folded his arms.

"You see, we're afraid you might be dangerous with it."

"HOW!"

"God only knows what you'd do when you're PMSing." Roy almost giggled to himself. Almost. He loved to pick on Ed for being the girl of their relationship.

Ed was silent for a moment, then it sunk in...

"DAMN YOU ROY!" Edward's screech resounded through the stone walls of the building...

xxx


	45. I missed you

**I missed you!**

Roy sighed leaning back into his chair. Ed would be gone for quite a while. He was assigned to Lior. Which meant the two wouldn't be in contact for weeks, possibly months at a time. This kinda brough Roy's mood down and every one noticed.

"Colonel, perhaps you should leave early."

Roy look up at Riza in surprise as she told him to do something OTHER than paperwork.

"I mean, if you can't do your work, you're useless..." She finished. Roy felt better knowing that there wasn't actually anything wrong with her. He would have been worried if she told him he could get out of paper work for no reason at all...

"I don't think I need to, leiutenant."

"Well I don't agree." She shrugged.

Roy back up and leaned his elbow on his desk. He picked up his pen as he heard something. He put the pen down and listened as closely as he could. The possiblility of being under attack crossed his mind.

It sounded much like a train just barrelling down the hall, though he knew that was unlikely. He heard people's shouts and shrieks as the 'something' continued its way closer to Roy' door.

Roy tensed up as the thing threw his door open.

"ROOOYYY!" The 'thing' that happened to have blonde hair and gold eyes, did a combination of a fly-tackle-cling, diving right over Roy's desk and attaching itself to the colonel.

Roy blinked and breathed, after almost flipping a heart valve. "Ed..." He said shakily.

"I missed you." Ed snuggled into Roy's chest.

"Ed...You were gone for ten whole minutes..."

"So?"

"You're hopeless..."

"I know."

"Again I say..."

xxx


	46. Looks

**Looks**

Roy sat curled up with a book, sitting just across from Ed who also had a notebook open in front of him, carefully examining the equations and diagrams, every now and then taking a moment to look up.

It was in one of these moments he caught Roy sneaking a look a him. Roy quickly returned to reading his book. And Ed went back to his Alchemy notes. The shorter Alchemist looked up again, this time a little bit more discreetly. He saw Roy looking at him again.

"What's with the looks?"

"What looks?"

"You keep looking at me."

"I am not."

"You are too..." Ed looked down but kept his head at an angle to where he could catch Roy in the act.

Sure enough Roy look at him again.

"SEE! There you did it again!"

"I did not," Roy diverted his eyes back to his book quickly. "I was reading this book."

Ed stood up and slinked over to him and stood behind Roy looking down at him and his reading material.

"Um...Roy, your book is upside down...just admit it...you're caught."

"...Uh...NO! I find it intellectually stimulating to take the time to translate the words upside down!"

"In other words you're admitting that I caught you checking me out?"

"Evidently yes..." Roy replied as his face changed from pale to bright red.

xxx


	47. Morning Schedule of Col Roy Mustang

**Morning Schedule of Colonel Roy Mustang**

6:00 a.m.: Roll over as alarm goes off.

6:09 a.m.: Smash snooze button on alarm clock.

6:18 a.m.: Throw alarm clock across room.

6:27 a.m.: Get out of bed to retrieve alarm clock, while hitting the snooze button again.

6:36 a.m.: Get out of bed, put on ignition gloves, torch alarm clock, and go back to sleep.

6:40 a.m.: Back to sleep.

6:50 a.m.: Wake up again and see that there is only ten minutes to get ready...Then crawl back into bed to sleep for five more minutes.

6:55 a.m.: Wake up, throw on clothes, straighten out hair, and run out door for work.

6:59 a.m.: Run back in and put pants on, THEN run to work.

7:05 a.m.: Get shot at by grumpy first lieutenant for being late.

Moral of the story: Well...there isn't one...but it sure as hell is funny to watch the Colonel dodge bullets.

xxx

****


	48. Roy's afternoon Schedule

**Roy's afternoon schedule**

12:00 p.m.: Stare at stack of paperwork.

12:10 p.m.: Curse at stack of paperwork.

12:20 p.m.: Decide not to do paperwork until later, when it was due ten minutes ago.

12:30 p.m.: Got shot at by first Lieutenant and get black mailed into doing paperwork.

12:35 p.m.: Hide in the bathroom in order to get out of doing paperwork.

12:40 p.m.: Get pulled out of bathroom by Lieutenant.

12:45 p.m.: Run back into to retrieve pants.

12:50 p.m.: Bang head on desk repeatedly until head goes numb.

12:55 p.m.: Swear to self that the paper work just moved on its own.

1:00 p.m.: Realize level of sanity is decreasing.

1:10 p.m.: Hire someone to forge signature, and run away...very fast...

Moral of the story: Claiming a phobia of paper work would have been much easier...But then again, it's funny to watch Roy go nuts!

xxx

****


	49. Roy's evening Schedule

**Roy's evening schedule**

7:00 p.m.: Enters house upon surviving another day of work.

7:10 p.m.: Sits down to relax.

7:11 p.m.: Realizes food is needed.

7:15 p.m.: Pulls out things to cook dinner.

7:20 p.m.: Realizes that both he AND his kitchen are on fire.

7:25 p.m.: Stop. Drop. Roll.

7:45 p.m.: Emerges from charred kitchen and decides food isn't THAT necessary.

8:00 p.m.: Goes to take a shower.

8:10 p.m.: Gets out of shower, takes pants off, then gets back in.

8:20 p.m.: Curses at Ed for replacing shampoo with glue.

8:30 p.m.: Puts clothes on, making a mental note to remember when and when NOT to wear pants...

8:40 p.m.: Answers ringing phone.

8:45 p.m.: Calmly sets phone on table and walks away as Hughes continues to talk.

9:00 p.m.: Goes to sleep.

10:00 p.m.: Rolls over.

11:20 p.m.: Mumbles incoherently about a toaster or something or other.

1:35 a.m.: Gets out of bed, picks up phone, says good bye to Hughes, and goes back to sleep.

Moral of the Story: Well...Nothing...But now we know, Hughes talks a lot, Ed likes practicle jokes, and listening to Roy talk in his sleep can make for some GOOD black mail material...

xxx


	50. Are You Listening?

**Are you listening?**

"Roy."

"Mmmmm"

"Rooooy."

"MMMmmmmmm"

"Hey! Are you listening to me?" Ed all but screeched waving his hand in front of the colonel's face.

"No." The simple reply.

"You just did!"

"I did not!"

"You did it again!"

"Nuh uh!"

Ed sat back and sighed. "Geeze what's it take to make you notice me!"

"Mmmm."

"Damn you! I have something important to say to you! Listen to me! If I wear a skimpy black dress will you listen!"

"Make it a red dress, that's much sexier on you."

Ed blushed and sighed, while rolling his eyes at the same time. "Okay dumbass I was being sarcastic please give me five minutes of your time! Then I'll leave you alone!

"Okay, I'm listening!" Roy rolled his eyes. "What is it that is so important that you must share with me?"

Ed blinked a few times then paled. "I ...I forgot..."

"Figures, ah damn it! You Made me die! That was my last life! I was almost finished!" Roy threw a fit.

"Damn you Pac Man. Damn you!" Ed cursed at the Television for taking Roy's attention away from him.

xxx

****


	51. Should Have Listened to Mother

**Should have listened to mother**

"Taisa?"

"Mmmm...yeah?" Roy answered as he lifted his head off of his desk, with a piece of paper clinging firmly to his face from where he'd drooled all over it.

"Your paperwork is due in a few hours." A concerned Riza mentioned as she resisted the impulsing urge to roll her eyes at the immaturity level of her superior officer.

"I know..." Roy put his head back on the desk, in a way that sounded more like a bang. "But I just doin't want toooo...! I didn't join the military to sign my name 627 times!"

"627?"

"I'm just guess numbers here okay! Fine fine I'll get on it...Damn...Stupid paper work." He picked up his pen and began the endless task of scribbling his name more times then there are exhisting Yugioh cards.

"You know Taisa, if you'd do your paperwork when you fist got it, then you wouldn't have to worry about having to hurry to get it done to meet your deadline." Riza commented, in a very intellegent, and particularly Riza-like way.

"You just don't understand! These papers are AGAINST ME! YOu didn't see the way they tried to DESTROY me that one time! They're still angry about that! That I didn't die!"

"Did your mother ever mention to you a job that you would be better suited for? Most mothers like to tell their children what they should take up as a career, they're usually right you know. My mother told me I should have been a doctor...I'm starting to think I should have listened to mother..."

"Well...My mother told me I should suffocate myself in a bodybag, then take myself down to a lake and throw myself in it...Then drown myself again...You know...Maybe I should have listened to mom...Then I wouldn't have to worry about paperwork..."

"...Okay...I'm sorry I said anything..."

xxx


	52. Lucky Number

**Lucky Number**

"Ed," Roy said sternly while approaching the smaller one who was sitting on the front step of the military headquarters.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I really need to talk to you."

"OKay, I'm all ears!"

"You've got to stop." He said in the most serious tone he could manage.

"Stop what?"

"Stop leaving me all of these notes in my uniform locker."

"Oh..."

"I mean seriously! You've got to stop. One or two is okay, but you're going over board!"

"But-"

"No buts! I mean why one earth would you leave me so many when we see each other every day!

"Because it was my lucky number, that's why I left you that many!"

"6678 is your lucky number?"

"You actually counted?"

"Yes."

"Oh...

xxx


	53. Different Method

**Different method**

"Look, Ed, we have to find a different form of communication..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." Roy took a breath. "There's only so many letters you can cram into my desk in a day. The phone prevents me from communicating with people of whom I can possibly con into doing my paper work for me. And well...Using the front of my office door for note posting's invasion of privacy from those who decide to take a peak at it..."

"Well what do we do?"

"That's why you're here short stuff, where going to figure that out now."

"I always thought throwing notes back and forth worked..."

"But that's not always convenient. Besides you flip out when you don't expect one."

"OKay...Um...well that's a tough one, well what about-"

"The last time you did that you transmuted my desk into a giant swan. Let's not even go into the look I got from my boss for that one. Hey Roy why's your desk a giant swan? Oh General, I'm sorry I was feeling a little feminine today! That's NEVER goimng to happen again! That man will not look at me with a straight face anymore!"

"Okay...how about-"

"No! You know how hard it is to get marker off of anything?"

"OKay, then maybe-"

"If you come in my office every fifteen minutes Hughes is going to suddenly comprehend, then I have to kill him."

"Well...damn...Roy?"

"Yes?"

"You're one hell of a mind reader."

"No, you're just predictable."

"Well...I guess that means we won't have a different method...So, I suppose I should get a new notebook."

"Notebook?"

"Yeah, that's where I write my notes in...Hey we could just pass that back and forth!

"Sounds like a good idea."

-ten minutes later-

"Ed what the hell is that!"

"My notebook!"

"Since when do notebooks have 5000 pages in it!"

"Tch, you're so picky you know that?"

xxx


	54. Just Don't Ask

**Just don't ask**

!SLAM!

Roy looked up quickly as his office door slammed shut rather loudly. He saw a flustered, seemingly out of breath Ed stomp over and stand in front of his desk.

"Anything I can help you with half pint?"

"GGERRAH! Call me that again and I'll GNAW ON YOU!"

"Okay okay, relax, what do you ne-"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"Excuse me?" Roy sat back, slightly stunned by the shorter alchemists brash move.

"You heard me! You bastard! I love you!"

"Um...But Ed...I."

"What?" Ed looked up at him after previously gluing his eyes to the floor.

"I have someone already..."

"O-oh?"

"I mean yes...sorry..." Roy closed his eyes apologetically.

"Who..."

"What?"

"Who is it?"

"Well uh..." Roy thought about it and decided that telling him was probably the worst idea in the history of the world and would most likely result in him being transmuted into his desk...Yes, INTO his desk. "You don't know her."

"HER!"

"Uh...yeah?"

He heard the office door slam again and he looked past Ed to see...Ed?

"Wait a minute? If that's..." Roy pointed to 'Ed' then the other 'Ed'. "Oh...shit..."

"HER huh!" The Ed before him changed forms, revealing himself to be Envy. He slammed his hands down on Roy's desk. "I SEE HOW IT REALLY IS! SO I'M A 'HER' NOW?" He huffed then turned around stomping past Ed, but not before stealthly smacking the half pint upside the head for no reason.

"HEY!" Ed screamed as Envy dissappeared into the crowd outside of Roy's office. Ed turned back to Roy. "What was-"

"Just don't ask..." Roy groaned as he put his head on the desk realizing he was going to have a lot of ass kissing before him.

xxx


	55. I would never!

**I would Never!**

"What are you doing here Hughes?" Roy rolled his eyes as he caught Hughes trying to sneak into his office.

"Oh nothing! I thought I'd say hello to my favorite buddy!" The man said all smiles from ear to ear.

"That just means you're up to something." Roy folded his arms and sat back.

"Oh now why would you say something like that! I would never think of doing anything to you! I rather like my ass NOT on fire." He chuckled to himself.

"Yes, well it's a known fact that you're one to surprise people and this time I'm prepared. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING you do will surprise me! Not this time!"

"I wasn't thinking of anything honestly!"

"Oh please I know THAT look!"

"What look?" The Major smiled innocently. "I haven't done ANYTHING wrong!"

"As of yet!"

"You're so paranoid Roy!" He stepped closer.

"So what!" He replied not even paying attention to the fact that Hughes was teadily inching closer to him. "You DO things! Things that I SHOULD have already torched you for!"

"Oh NOT ME!"

"Don't you pull that fake, 'I would never', tone on me!"

"What ever do you mean Roy? Things like this?" Hughes quickly leaned over Roy's desk catching the Colonel's lips in his.

Roy's face changed colors as Maes pulled back. A bright flash pulled him out of his trance as he realized Hughes had...a camera...

"Oh would you look at that Roy! It seems I've done it again!" He smiled widely as he skipped out of the room quickly.

"I'M GOING TO GET YOU ONE OF THESE DAYS HUGHES!" Roy screamed before slamming his head down on the desk.

xxx

_Leo: Upon finishing this drabble, I've realized just how damn HOT this pairing is...So yeah...expect more of these afterall this isn't JUST RoyEd!...And forget what I said about him being married and that I wouldn't write it because of that...Gracia can share him I'm pretty sure XD_

_Oh and big huggle to Neo Niji XD! For wonderful review ;-; I feel so special!_

_I've also decided that THE only way to get a song OUT of my head is to share it with others, so If I put a few random lyrics at the bottom of these drabbles...then you'll know why...Don't pay any attention to them, unless you think you may like my taste in music XD_

_**-Say you will sing your songs forever more, ever more-  
The Commodores-Night Shift**_


	56. Top 10 Things Roy should ask himself

**Top Ten things Roy should ask himself**

10. Why do I listen to my Lieutenant when I'm a higher rank?

9. What exactly possesses Ed to send me fifteen dozen roses at random...with out realizing that black roses are a death wish, even if it's my favorite color?

8. If I accidentally rubbed both hands together would I set myself on fire?

7. Does my rank permit me to get away with locking Havoc and Fury in a closet together so they can just get it over with?

6. Exactly what gender IS Envy?

5. Why can't I have sparkles like Armstrong?

4. If I got into a fight with a loaded hose, would I win?

3. Why is it that Ed's attached himself to my leg?

2. How many times is that stack of paper work going to give me...THAT look!

1. When am I finally going to give in and commit myself to an asylum?

xxx


	57. Top 10 'Proofs' of Ed stalking Roy

**Top ten things that prove Ed is stalking Roy**

10. Roy wakes up to find a strangly familiar, and short person standing out side his window just staring at him...with out blinking for 3 hours...

9. Every time Roy turns his head Ed looks away, then goes back to staring at him afterwords.

8. 6678 signed Letters in the colonel's locker speaks for itself.

7. The sign across Roy's forehead written in permanent marker that says "MINE, love Ed".

6. The fact that Ed wrote that Backwards to Roy could easily read it in the mirror.

5. The knowledge that Ed hired Hughes to take pictures of him for his personal collection.

4. Finding out that Ed's been stealing Roy's clothes...Just because they belong to Roy.

3. Ed wearing stolen clothes while making weird giggly noises...Now that's weird Ed...

2. Ed taught himself how to cling to ceilings.

1. The blatantly obvious fact that Ed came out and straight forward said, "Roy...I'm stalking you...I just thought you might want to know."

xxx


	58. You Mean Bastard

**You Mean Bastard**

"Ed, Ed are you okay?" Roy said shaking Ed slightly to wake him out of his fitful dream.

"GAH!" Ed clung to Roy as he snapped back to reality. "It was awful!"

"What happened?"

"I had a dream that Winry had a knife and she came up to me and said she wanted my ARM BACK! So she could do freaky experiments on MEEE!"

"OH Ed it's okay, I don't think she would really do that, now go back to sleep." Roy soothed.

"Okay...Ed laid back and rolled over on his side snuggling against Roy, promptly falling asleep.

Ed turned and opened his eyes slowly, realizing that it was already morning. He sat up and notcied that Roy was already gone. He grumbled and got up, shuffling out of the bed room lazily.

He rubbed his eyes as he saw Winry standing in the kitchen.

"Hi Ed!" She smiled.

"Uh...Hi Winry, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd visit you! You to to say hello and..."

"And?"

"I NEED YOUR ARM BACK ED!" She cackled wickedly pulling out a knife.

ED screeched at the top of his lungs and flew out the door as fast as his short legs would allow him to go.

Roy stood up from behind the counter and busted out into a hysterical fit of laughter. "Here, go by that..um...thing you wanted." He managed to say between laughing fits as he handed her a couple bills.

"YAY! Tell Ed I mean him no harm!" She ran out happily.

"Oh man..." He shook his head as Ed wandered back inside with this 'eat shit and die' look on his face. "That was golden Ed!"

"You mean bastard...I hope you drown in a bathtub!" Ed stomped back into the room. 'This means WAR!' He growled to himself.

xxx


	59. Would Be Answers

**OKay so Recap!**

_Teh Questions:_

_10. Why do I listen to my Lieutenant when I'm a higher rank?_

_9. What exactly possesses Ed to send me fifteen dozen roses at random...with out realizing that black roses are a death wish, even if it's my favorite color?_

_8. If I accidentally rubbed both hands together would I set myself on fire?_

_7. Does my rank permit me to get away with locking Havoc and Fury in a closet together so they can just get it over with?_

_6. Exactly what gender IS Envy?_

_5. Why can't I have sparkles like Armstrong?_

_4. If I got into a fight with a loaded hose, would I win?_

_3. Why is it that Ed's attached himself to my leg?_

_2. How many times is that stack of paper work going to give me...THAT look!_

_1. When am I finally going to give in and commit myself to an_ _asylum?_

**The 'would be' answers!**

10. Okay Roy, face it, she owns you...you ARE her bitch and she knows it...why am I talking in third person?

9. I know Ed still hates me...even a little...And hell If I died he'd have something to practice transmutations on...Even if he knows he'll morbidly screw up...

8. Yes as a matter of fact, I tried it and ended up throwing myself in a lake...

7. I didn't even have to throw them in there, they were already in there when I went to get my coat...needless to say the coat stayed...

6. I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know!

5. I'm too cool for sparklies...Doesn't mean I don't still want them...But I suppose that one time (during episode 13) will suffice...

4. Roy why do you ask yourself stupid questions? Your master (Riza) has already told you that you're useless around water...

3. I'm not so disturbed by the attachment as I am the fondling but, okay...sign of affection? I just wish people would stop looking at me like that...

2. Yes paper CAN look I'll have you know. Well, it's not doing it any more since I threw it out the window.

1. Probably some time next week, maybe, it all depends on if Ed's death wish comes through or not...

xxx


	60. Payback

**Payback**

Roy walked, or should we say, dragged himself into his office. He planned on spending at the very least the next four days in that very spot behind his desk. There was NO way he was going home...Not after what Ed did...Oh yes he'd gotten his amusment out of Ed's dream with Winry and the knife, but Ed did quite the number in return.

For instance, Roy's eyes STILL burned from the effect of the hot sauce, that Ed had replaced his shampoo with. Yes that was a very RUDE awakening. Not to mention ended with him rolling his face all over the carpet...Naked no less...Oh yes but it DOES get better. That's right Ed borrowed Hughes camera so that he could relive the moment any time he wanted!

Roy had quietly crawled back into the bathroom, where he stayed for the rest of the night and most of the morning, crying over the massive wound to his ego.

That is until Ed gently coaxed him out of the bathroom and into the second stage of hell, as Roy found himself referring it to.

Yes, Ed was quite conniving when he wanted to be. Put it this way, Roy would NEVER look at breakfast in the same light again...Especially considering Ed had been so kind as to replace the milk with glue, also noting the fact that EVERYTHING He cooked had, or should have had, milk in it. Of course poor Roy didn't know this until he found his lips stuck together.

And then Roy when off to brush his teeth, which Ed seemed quite prepared for, seeing as how he replaced the toothpaste with mayonaise. Needless to say Roy had to run his tongue all over the carpet to make it go away. Yet another opportunity for Ed to capture the moment.

Roy then proceeded to lock himself in a closet. Ed was also prepared for this as he left momentarily. He did return though, with a certain person of which, getting people out of closets was a long standing family trait that ran for generations. Yes, that's right, poor Roy was subjected to Armstrong's over whelming need to prove his abilities.

Roy bolted. He ran straight for the window and treathened to jump if any one came close to him. Of course, in Roy's temporary insanity, he forgot that his dorm room window was only three feet off the ground...

Ed practically cackled as Roy fell out the window and landed over a bucket of still water. Nearly breaking his back AND soaking himself at the same time. Not to mention freezing his ass off as it was only 30 degrees out side.

Now was the time he decided to, puting it in his words, run for his fucking life. Oh yes, he high tailed it, not caring that he only had one shoe, no shirt and his pants were barely hanging on. He NEEDED to get away! He ran into his office and shut the door. He didn't turn the light on for fear of giving himself away.

And so he sat at his desk quietly...Realizing that payback is a BITCH! With a bold capital B and blonde hair to go with it. He decided that, oh between four and eight days sounded like a good hide away from Ed period. Hell Ed should have already figured he'd won...That's the last time he'd play a joke on Ed...

xxx


	61. Black Mail

**Black Mail**

"Hey Roy."

"What?"

"When did you first meet Hughes?"

"Ed why do you want to know that?" Roy turned and looked at the smaller alchemist.

"I don't know. Just curious."

"Well It was a long time ago..."

"Oh?"

"Yes, is that all?"

"Why're you being so mean? I was just asking."

"NO you were getting, or trying to get black mail material."

"What! How would that be black mail! Unless you did something! Oh come on tell me!" Ed leaned forward showing peaked interest.

"I didn't do anything, now shut up! And quit asking retarded questions."

"Oh you were 'with' him weren't you!"

"NO!"

"I'ma go ask him!" Ed hopped up and started toward the door. He didn't make it out the door as Roy attached himself to Ed.

"You say a word and I swear, I'll barbecue you and eat you out of spite."

"You're a cannibal? Wow I learn new things about you every day. And thank you, by threatening me, you justed proved my theory right...And I wasn't going to actually go talk to HUghes...He's a couple hundred miles away actually...You should know that silly colonel."

"And you accuse ME of being mean?"

"Oh come on! I'm not going to use it against you...Unless you cross me in a wrong way then I'll totally tell EVERYONE!" Ed smirked.

"There's nothing to tell!"

"Silly, Roy, that's not the only blackmail I'd have on you anyways...I'm sure every one would find it amusing that you wear pink under wear."

"SHUT UP! I DO NOT!"

"Haha...I own you now!" Ed chuckled a he saw the indignant frown cross the colonel's face.

xxx


	62. Top Ten Roy Moments

**Top Ten Roy moments caught on camera**

10. Roy running to work with no pants on...That one remains in all time favorite pictures file.

9. Roy sucking his thumb in his sleep. You know that ones got to be cute!

8. Roy falling out of the shower because he's still half asleep. You just know Hughes cherishes that picture.

7. Roy talking and pointing accusingly at a stack of paper on his desk.

6. Roy slamming his head on desk intentionally.

5. Roy passed out after slamming his head too hard on accident.

4. Roy with elegantly drawn symbols all over his face because he was passed out and his subordinates thought it would be funny.

3. Roy bowing to Riza as she cracks the control whip over him. Remember, he's her bitch.

2. Roy's face as he walks into his office and sees a giant...thing...transmuted into the floor.

1. And finally Roy as he gets gnawed on for critisizing Ed's master peice transmutation...Thing...in the middle of his floor, while his superior decides to send him to a counsellor, while being shot at by Riza for not doing his work, while getting nagged by Hughes, and while trying to wipe the black marker shit off his face...

xxx


	63. Taste of Wax

**Taste of Wax**

"Ed what are you doing?"

"I'm hungry!"

"What's new." Roy rolled his eyes.

"Well feed me!"

"I'm not your babysitter! And ransacking EVERYTHING isn't going to make it better! You're just making a mess of everything!"

"You have no damn food in here! What am I supposed to do?"

"Believe it or not, paper has been proven to be edible..."

"You bastard, that's not funny!" Ed glared down at the colonel, from his position standing atop the counter. He hopped down and huffed walking over to the other cabinet.

"You know, you could try cooking something on your own.."

"Now WHY would I do that?"

"Just a thought."

"You know there's only so much peanut butter a person can eat before they can't open their mouth anymore!" Ed said pointing to the jar of remaining peanut food.

"Well aren't you picky."

"Yes I am!" He said closing the cabinet. He walked over to the other one, he stopped noticing a basket of fruit sitting on the table,

"Finally! Something!" he grabbed an apple and bit into it.

"You know, I was waiting for the day you'd do that...They've only been sitting there forever! So Ed, how DO you like the tase of wax?"

Ed's nose curled as he spit the 'apple' out. He glared down at the wax friut. And scowled at Roy. "You heinous bastard..."

"By the way, all of the food items are in THAT pantry over there..." Roy pointed.

"Oh, I hate you..." Ed growled, opening the pantry to see lots of food.

xxx


	64. Thankful Part 1

**Thankful part 1**

Roy walked into his office. Another wonderful day he had to be thankful for. Yeah uh huh, if paper work attacking him is something to be happy to have. Granted the stack of deadly forms hadn't quite yet leaped up and maimed him, he knew it was going to. And upon finishing that thought he decided he was losing his mind. End of story. Well not yet actually.

As he watched his first Lieutentant walk into his office he thought of something that would be fun to do. He thought he'd ask every one who walked in that day what they were thankful for! Yes indeed! Something that he expected would in the end be amusing to him.

"Hello Lieutenant," he spoke casually as she saluted him.

"Good morning colonel."

"I want to ask something, and it may sound weird, but I'm just curious. What are you most thankful for?"

"Me? Why do you ask sir?"

"Oh I'm just curious."

"Okay well I'm most thankful for my lot of obedient bitches that squeal and cry and do what they're SUPPOSED to do when I shoot at them. It brings joy to my heart to make the ones who are lazy and lacking in any kind of motivation get up and get SOMETHING done. And it looks even better when my superiors are under my comtrol as well. Though not often do I say such things sir, but indeed, every now and then cracking that control whip makes me proud sir! That's what I am MOST thankful for!" Riza said in her casual and strict tone.

"Uh...very nice..can I get you to deliver this to Hughesa please." Roy blinked several times thinking it would be good to change the subject.

"Yes sir! Anything else?"

"Can you tell Maes to drop by my office for a moment?"

"Will do!" Riza saluted again and turned to leave Roy's office.

Roy leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I knew it...We ARE her bitches..."

xxx


	65. Thankful part 2

**Thankful Part 2**

Roy tapped his fingers on his desk and twitched as he made the quickly passed attempt to pick up the pen. It was his only fear...Paperwork...There's nothing else he wouldn't do! But paperwork! It was an evil to him! But that's already been expressed.

He was greatfully distracted by the sound of his overly joyous pal, Major Hughes. Hughes walked in all smiles and as usual began his happy banter with:

"Hey there Roy! So when you gonna get married bud?"

"Maes..." Roy's tone was threatening.

"Okay okay! I'm sorry I won't go there...Yet...So what are you up to that you would call for yours truely!"

"I want to ask you something, it's not real important but I'm just curious."

"OKay shoot buddy!"

"What are you thankful for?"

"Me? oH I'm thankul for LOTS of things! My beautiful wife who's like a gorgeous star in the sky of my heart! Who melts me like wax in the sun! And couldn't be more perfect if she tried! Who's intellegence is a radiant and brilliance as she appears! The woman who was brought to a lowly man so undeserving as myself! And brought to me an adorable daughter! Who sparkles just like her mother! I could spoil her so rotten! She's so CUTE! And smart too! OH how she makes her daddy proud! I'm truely blessed to have such a wonderful girl! And she grows more beautiful everyday! And one day she'll grow into the most goergous woman! Like her mother! Oh her mother! Did I tell you how beautiful she is! She's like a golden statue in a cave of darkness! The shining light at the end of the tunnel! Oh how lucky a man I am to have been given such a gift! I could ask no more! When I have so much already, what more could I ever need! I could never in 20 life times pay fate back for the marvelous hand it has dealt me! Oh how much joy can one man possibly have! A beatiful wife and daughter; a wonderful and fullfilling job; and GREAT friends! Ah, how perfect my life is! By the way Roy you should get married..."

"Uh...That's nice...You're um...dismissed now..."

"Was that all Roy? Oh did I show you the new pictures I took this morning?"

"Ah what do youknow Hughes! I have paperwork I have to do! I'll talk to you later!" Roy smiled as he pushed Hughes out the door. He turned around and sank to the floor. "I never though I would thank my paper work...That's the last time I ask him a simple question...He could have talked me a book..."

Roy walked back over to his desk hesitantly, looking at the papers. "What? Doesn't mean I'll actually work on you!"

xxx


	66. Thankful Part 3

**Thankful Part three**

Roy, having concluded that he was better off just getting it done, as shocking as it may seem, he actually decided to pick up his pen and do the customary signing of his name three hundred times, still lulling over the 'Colonel Bastard' bit.

He looked up noticing the door click as it opened and in walked a short little blonde kid, aka Fullmetal alchemist. Don't tell him we called him little though...

"Ah hello Fullmetal."

"Yeah yeah hi to you too..." Ed looked away then glanced back. "Why can't you call me Ed?"

"Because I'm not supposed to and i like calling you Fullmetal. Oh..." Roy snapped, lucky with out his gloves on. "By the way I've been asking people and what are you most thankful for?"

"Most thankful for? Me?"

"Yeah you, who else is here?"

"Okay smart ass...Thankful for...well to be alive I guess...That Al's still got a soul. Maybe thankful I don't have to live near Winry any more...I hate that wrench throwing...Gerr...Um I don't have to drink milk! No one can make me damn it! Though I'd be much happier if I was taller...Then no one would call me small again! It wouldn't be full metal shorty to anyone...rawr! I hate that. People think just because I'm small I'm like weak or something! I. Am. NOT. Weak! I mean guh! I've beaten a lot of people! Yeah! I wish I didn't have automail, but I guess I'm happy I have it since it would really suck to be walking, or should I say hopping around with one leg and one arm. Then again it'd be a LOT cheaper than Winry's service...grrr, that girl charges too much...

Roy nodded oof realizing Ed's ranting was going nowhere fast and that chances were the shorter Alchemist wouldn't even noticed he'd fallen asleep...

"...And it'd be really great If I could just FOR ONCE hit you in the face in front of EVERYONE!...Hey Roy? YOu listening to me?"

"Huh wha? NO I wasn't sleeping! Yeah...um nice story Ed...I have um..work to do yeah!"

"Hmph...what ever...By the way..."

"Yeah?" Roy looked up holding his pen.

"I'm thankful for you..." Ed said giving him a smile before leaving Roy's office.

Roy blushed looked down at the papers. "Oh hell...who am I kidding...this is NEVER going to get done..."

xxx


	67. Thankful Part 4

**Thankful Part 4**

Roy leaned on his desk. He breathed a sigh of relief...He finished it...After hours of misery he finally came up with an idea that worked in his benefit. He had a stamp made with his name on it. That reduced his paperwork from ten days to five minutes. So he was happy.

He stood up and walked out the door stretching his arms as he ran into his subordinates. They looked like they were on break. It didn't take him three seconds to pluck the cigarette out of Havocs mouth.

"You know you're not supposed to smoke in the building, Second leuitenant."

"Yeah yeah..." he cried.

"By the way, I've been asking people, mainly because I have nothing better to do. What are you thankful for?" He looked at Havoc, Fury, and Farman.

"Thankful for? Hmm... that's a good question...I'm thankful for my cigarettes!" Havoc said lighting another one despite what Roy said. "The great taste of slow death." He laughed. "The smoke that's turning my insides black. The burning of my lungs as I inhale the very shit that will probably kill me. The big puff of smoke as I exhale. It's wnderful. Oh and I'm greatful for life."

"Good job contradicting yourself there Havoc..." Roy rolled his eyes.

"I'm thankful for dogs!" Fury replied. "They're so loyal! And they don't hurt each other like humans do! I think it would be great if everyone could become dogs!"

"Why am I seeing bad images of beastiality..." Roy made a mental note to prohibit Fury from having dogs. "What are you thankful for Farman?" He asked fearing it would be just as disturbing as the others.

"Me sir? Oh, I'm thakful I'm not them." He pointed as the other two went off into there own world.

"I totally back you on that one..." Roy and Farman left the two standing in the hall babbling to each other about things they'd rather not hear...

xxx


	68. A Random Thought

**A few random thoughts**

I'm sitting here. At my desk. Realizing that indeed my life, it sucks. No I'm not staring down at the deformed and mangled stack of papers that normally accompany me. Nope it'sme. And my loneliness. Well actually I'm not all that lonely I think. Well I don't know. The voices, they get louder so really it's not all that lonely.

They keep yelling at me. It makes me want to curl up in a corner.They're harsh. They really are. People don't really know I'm crazy. So I sit here with a pen in my hand in a paper on the desk. Neat little lines crossing each other as I stickanother letter in one of the crossed half boxes.

The voice...It speaks to me.

It tells me to stick the other letter in the other box.

I oblige.

I cringe.

And realize my voices just kicked my ass all over the place at tic tac toe.

Again.

This sucks.

I set the paper on fire with the snap of a finger.

And they tell me I'm **NOT** crazy...

xxx


	69. Thankful Final Part

**Thankful (Final Part)**

"So, Roy."

Roy looked up at the five people standing at his desk, okay make thats six he noted as Riza walked in. "Yes?" He asked in an authoritive tone, glancing to each of them, Ed, Havoc, Farman, Fury, Hughes and now Riza. All of a sudden he felt like he was being ganged up on. Not a good feeling when you know your subordinates are nearly as insane as you are.

"We're curious, Colonel. You've been asking us what we're thankful for, and we kinda want to know what YOU'RE thankful for. You know, Equivalent exchange?" Leave it to Ed to word it so kindly. He hated being backed into a hole.

"You want to know what I'm happy for?"

"That's right."

"Okay, well upon finding myself slightly disturbed by both Havoc and Fury, I tend to agree with Farmen, that I'm thankful not to be them." He stated and cleared his throught.

"Okay go on."

"And well, I'm also thankful that my master, Riza of course, is benevolent enough not to shoot my ass because I'm late damn near everyday. And that I manage to keep living even though the conditions of my slavery are pretty intense."

"Hey it's not THAT bad, Colonel!" Riza protested.

"Yeah yeah, believe that. I'm treated more like a dog than Black Hayate. But aside the point. I'm also glad that I'm not as obsessed as a certain someone. And Greatly thankful that I'm flamboyantly enough gay, to shoo away any woman, thus decreasing my chance of having children, thus decreasing my ability to turn into a mad obsessed family worshipping psycho."

"Aw come one Roy! It's not that bad once you get there! You'll find out that one day you'll have someone that you cherish more than the world itself and you'll love it to death and talk about it all the time and-"

"Hush, before I put a corkscrew up your ass and twist it." Hughes didn't speak another word. "Finally, before I was rudely interruped, I'm greatful that I have not yet been transmutated into the floor, nor been turned into something grotesque, like my desk, remember the swan Edward?" He glanced at Ed, who blushed.

"Of course Colonel. I spend a good hour working on it."

"Well, aside from that I'm greatful...eh...eh..."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't say it I'll sound too mushy."

"Oh come on Roy! We wanna hear it!"

"Well, I'm greatful for you Ed." He closed his eyes and fought valiently against the blush, failing every step of the way.

"Aww..." I think we should let them have some time along don't you guys think!" Hughes beamed, clearly seeing that roy was about to pop from the heat.

They left and Roy's head hit the desk.

"Roy are you okay?" Ed asked, still feelign the butterflies in his stomach at such a sappy amittance.

"Masculinity: Minus 20 points." Roy mumbled and Ed rubbed his back, trying not to laugh. And failing admirably.

xxx


	70. Vulnerable

**Vulnerable**

"Roy come on! Everyone else is having a grand time and you? You're being a party pooper sittng there watching us! Will you suck it up and just come on in? Even Al is getting closer to it than you!"

"I'd rather not. I've had enough fun already." Roy grumbled sitting in the beach chair trying not to look at Ed, knowing that that stupid blush on his face might return.

"Fighting with a barbeque grill and losing was not what I was talking about!" Ed stomped over to Roy and gabbed his arm. "Come on! Don't make me give you the pouty face. I swear I can melt ice with it, you'll fall easy pray."

"You're wicked you know that?"

Edward smirked, yeah he knew he was wicked indeed. And like it or not he WOULD bend the flame alchemist to his will. Mr. Mustang didn't stand a chance against him.

"Yes I do know that. Look, if we could get Havoc in the water than I think you can suck it up and be a man about it!"

"I'm doing in there."

"It's just water!"

"Yeah and water makes me feel...vulnerable."

"Vulnerable? You crack me up Mister Mustang!" He yanked the older man, up and dragged him to the lake, not bother to observe the protest as he pushed the Colonel off the pier. Roy surfaced and growled loudly, cursing as the others decided to play the 'see who can splash who the most' game. Roy barely made it to shore with out drowning himself.

He scowled and retreated back into the cabin. Pissed off at Ed. He locked himself in his room after pouring himself something to drink in a tall black cup.

"Roooy..." Ed knocked on the door. "Open up..." He sighed. "Hey I'm sorry but I wanted you to have more fun!" Roy opened the door to let the shoter Alchemist in.  
"You're mad at me aren't you?"

"Slightly." He looked up noticing the foul look on Ed's face. "What's wrong?"

"I have got THE nastiest taste in my mouth. Lake water isn't too tasty I've learned."

"Here, wash it down with this." Roy handed Ed's his glass with a hidden smirk as Ed took a huge gulp, before choking and spitting it out.

"AUGH! I'm NOT drinking THIS!"

"What's wrong Ed? Milk make you feel vulnerable?"

"I hate you..."

"That's no what you said last night when I-"

"ROY!"

"Ooooh, That makes you feel vulnerable too? Hmmm. You learn new things everyday!"

"Just shut up..." Ed blushed gorlwing at the man. "I got your point."

xxx


	71. Meeting

**Meeting**

Roy sat at his desk. Again. And as usual, the look of dread was clearly written on his face as he realized the stack of paperwork before him not only remained in the same spot it had been the night before, but it seemed to have breeded a fresh stack right next to it.

Of course this was the case every day and every day he got the strong inpulse to slam his head in a door. Of course every day he also resisted this strong impulse. And like normal put off doing said paper work until LAST moment possible. Or paying some one else to do it.

Of course today he actually had a real VALID, excusable reason for NOT doing his paper work. What was it you ask? He was leaving early. With permission of course. What was the occasion? Well Major Maes Hughes, long time friend to the colonel, requested a one on one 'meetng'. You could say. Of course Roy knew that with Hughes, it simply meant listening to the man talk...There was usually nothing important to these 'meetings' and really they weren't an absolute nessessity. But reguardless. The colonel found it harder and harder to say no.

In all actuality he was getting used to it. And even...liking it...It was a nice break from working...And it was better than having to listen to Maes ramble on about things on the phone that lost Roy in the very beginning...At least this way, if he lost what the man was saying...At least Maes could tell by the look on Roy's face.

Roy put his things away. Taking very careful precautions to pick the stack of well crafted evil up and place it underneath his and desk out of direct sight. He made it his daily habit to put the paperwork in a place he wouldn't immdiately see it upon walking in the next day. He felt it was a bad omen if he didn't.

He left his desk and grabbed his coat. Shutting the light off as he left he locked his office door. Since the incident with Havoc and Fury he had no choice but to get a lock. I mean who wouldn't be a little 'concerned' with the two, for one running into his office, and two doing disturbing things to each other under his desk. Oh yes, he was very clearly justified in buying the dead bolt.

He gracefully avoided Lieutenant Haweye as he knew she would have SOMETHING to fire a full clip worth at him for. That woman and her gun scared him. Not a little, I lot. But luckily he wasn't the only one with a Riza phobia. Everyone else was afraid too. Except Edward, but he wasn't around enough to see her true wrath.

He slipped outside virtually unnoticed. And he could only imagine the look on Riza's face when she read the, "Is out for lunch" note he'd left on his door, scribbled on a napkin and taped carelessly to the glass. He could imagine her shooting hole in it and he was anticipatng having to replace that window. Which would give him an excuse to buy bullet proof replacement glass.

I walked down the street in silence, the only things catching his attention were this own thoughts. Hughes sounded different this time than any of the other times. He almost sounded nervous. But he'd been that way for a while he guessed. After the tragic death of his wife and daughter he hadn't quite been the same. He'd nearly lost his mind for the longest time. Roy kept him together, with out even knowingi t at the time.

Roy'd always knew there was some sort of attachment his friend had for him. They were the closest friends forever. So that was to be expected. But he knew that quiver in the major's voice meant either something bad or something that would shock him, hopefully not a combination.

He stopped at the general meeting place. A little cafe place. NOt really TOO far off from the HQ, within walking distance luckily. He stepped in side and instantly found Maes, same spot as last time.

"Hello Hughes." Roy spoke formally sitting down across from him.

"Why can't ou call me something more endearing, like Maes perhaps?." The man smiled large. "I guess that all I can expect from you.

"Maes," He said earning a grin from the other man. "Why did you ask me here? I understand you've done this a lot, but no usually in the middle of the week. I do have things to do you know."

"Oh Roy what are you talking about, you never actually DO paperwork!"

"That's beside the point." Roy frowned slightly, with a pouty look on his face.

"I just wanted to tell you something that's all."

Roy, irritated at his friends evasion of the real subject, stood up. "Hughes, tell me now or call me later." For what ever reaosn this was bothering him. The man had seemed so deserate to talk to him. And now suddenly everything was just peachy?

"OH Roy you're such a stick in the mud buddy." He grinned up at him. "But fine If you want to be like that. So...Roy, you got anyone special yet?"

Roy's jaw fell open in the lsightest, that could not have been the reason he was called to see the man. That just would have been TOO much even for Hughes.

"NO I don't" He grumbled.

"AH! Good then." He stood up and Roy didn't even have a moment to flinch when he realized Hughes mouth fell on his. His hand let go of the jacket as Hughes hands caressed his face.

Roy had always thought himself to be the more dominant one but he found himself quickly melting into the Major. His heart thumped loudly against the sturdy ribs protecting his heart and his sucked in a heavy breath as Hughes let him free. He head went down against Hughes' shoulder and his lips tingled from the interaction.

Hughes sat back down and looked up at Roy who was looking shocked. "That's all I really needed to say."

"Is that so?" Roy whispered.

"Yep."

Despite the supposed closure of the conversation and the chance for Roy to leave, Roy sat back down across from Hughes.

xxx


	72. To Make You Smile

**To make you smile**

Roy at down at his desk, his brain was racked, his thought were jumbled and he was steady going a 37 hours straight without sleep...This was possibly the most tiring shift he'd ever done before. Non-stop, important meetings here, important document there, long drawn out drafts and etcetera. He wanted more than the world to simply die right there at his desk into a sleep that no one could wake him out of...If only...He REALLY could use an alcoholic beverage if sleep was not readily available.

He looked down at his desk at the new folder that had arrived. He shifted through it, noting the new set up of the south side office, which had undergone reconstruction due to a recent 'explosion,' caused by Roy's forgetting the main gas pipe was severed. Oops, he'd used the excuse and readily got away with it when he put on the "I swear to drunk, I'm not god,' look on and instead ended up being sent home, to 'sober' up. Funny thing...he hadn't drank anything that morning, except his bland, tongue scorching coffee.

He chuckled to himself. No one could doubt that it was funny. At least no one got hurt, or at least seriously. Roy hardly found a man's charred ass to be serious. And more of less had to stab himself in the thigh with his pen to keep himself from laughing directly in the poor man's face. Oh how cruel he could be when he wanted not to be.

Riza, the ever-so hard lady to deal with only scolded him with two bullets to the chest (thank god for status pins...They can actually save your life after all) and only survived out of luck. She was very terrifying...He was next to certain she could make someone piss themselves on command if she really wanted them too.

He shook his head in order to keep his thoughts from wandering ...that's when he took notice of the little scrawled chicken scratch of a note underneath the manila folder. He lifted it up and strained his blurring eyes to focus on the paper.

"Dear Lieutenant Colonel of the state.  
I know right now you're incredibly irate.

I send this to you in hopes you'll clam a bit .  
Even if funny, don't have a fit.

I'm sure things will settle still.  
So slow down and just chill.

Because when all is said and done.  
I'm sure you'll get to have some fun.

Oh and stop kicking your freaking desk, okay?  
I sure your foot will thank you some day.

And I don't think you're technically allowed to set shit aflame.  
And I'm sure you'll be the end of a lot of blame.

So before you get killed by an angry army.  
Please get some sleep, if not only for me.

Because seriously...seeing you strung by a post light.  
Would, for both of us, incredibly bite.

And if you didn't crack a stupid grin.  
You'd better read this shit again.

And do it again and again until you do.  
And laugh at this crap I continue to spew.

I went through the trouble to make you smile.  
Yeah bastard, for you I go that extra mile.

So I better not see you turn up dead.  
With much love, from Ed.

Roy leaned forward and placed a hand over his mouth as the smile spread on his face. He couldn't help it. It may have been written with the mindset of a child, but the heart behind it was so strong. He sighed and couldn't help but think how true that adoring little poem rung. Yeah...he was getting on people's nerves pretty good from what he'd gathered. And it probably was time he actually said, 'to hell with work, I need sleep.'

He stood up, grasping the note in his hand and folding it to place in his jacket pocket. He left the room with a declaration to one of the shift workers, that before he blew Central HQ sky high and ended up getting killed by psychopathic people, he was clocking out for the night.

And with a smile on his face too.

xxx


	73. Just Ask

**Just ask**

"Why don't you just ask him out already? Geeze, since when were YOU such a chicken." Ed rolled his eyes as he grabbed a drink from the table, eating at HQ was more like eating at a school cafeteria...And god only knows what's really in that meat casserole.

"Easy for you to say! Your only like thirteen or something."

"FIFTEEN! Thank you very much!"

"Hey don't harp on me, I was only guessing. Don't be mad, because you don't even want to know what age I was going to say based on looks alone..."

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALL!"

"I don't recall saying that, but back to MY issue if you'll please!"

"What can I possibly do!" Ed huffed looking away from the man.

"I dunno, talk to him for me or something! I'd ask Riza, but she'd shoot me and tell me to get back to work. Tch, work...Who really doest hat around here anyways?"

"Good point, but come on, Colonel Chicken! Ask him! What's the worst that could happen?"

"He could turn out to be straight, I would be humiliated, then attacked by the vicious clan of women I lead on to try and put up the 'straight' façade, then I life a life in misery in my body cast, and finally the world could come to and end and somehow Riza would be the drill sergeant in Hell..."

"You seriously need to get counseling...I think this job is fucking with your mind."

"Oh no, It's not the job...I've always been like this..."

"That's even scarier..." Ed's face carried the expression of serious worry for the other poor dogs that worked under Roy's command. "But why? I mean geeze all you do is jump the poor guys case all the time!" Ed dramatized adding in hand motions.

"Yeah and that's the problem...What if I've made him hate me or something?"

"OH my god Roy! What are you a soldier or a flower! You've seriously got to do something about this little girl that's coming out of you! I know you're not straight, but this is seriously pushing the limits of your sudden switch in genders! You're a man, remember that! Not to mention at thirty years old you should be able to at LEAST ask some one out!"

"Twenty NINE!"

"For what, about two more days?"

"That's not the point!"

"Turn around."

"What!"

"Just do it."

Roy turned around and came face to face with the subject of his discussion. His face changed colors as he wondered just how long he's been there.

"Interesting conversation there, Colonel. And here I though Ed was flagging me down so you could scold me again." A smirk crossed the other man's face.

"Hey First Lieutenant! I trust you'll be nice to Roy? He's feeling a tad feminine today, I think you can understand!" Ed smiled as he slid away from Roy's grasp.

"ED! How dare you call him over here while I'm talking to you like that! COME BACK HERE!" He slowly turned back around to Havoc. "So...Uh...how much did you hear of that? And for god's sake quit smoking them damn things in doors", he plucked the cigarette out of the man's mouth, his face still graced with a shade of crimson.

Without warning, Havoc's mouth found it's place on Roy's and the Colonel nearly choked on his heart at the sudden movement. The butterflies crawled up into his chest and he had to shake his arms loose of the tingly feeling. He stared in a dazed shock when Havoc pulled back and smiled at him.

"I guess 8 tonight will work for you? Good then see you later!" He strolled off with a wink.

Roy's mind finally came back from its short vacation and he looked in Ed's direction. The little blonde was standing in the doorway with his head peeking out as if to spy on what had happened.

"Damn it..." Roy mumbled to himself. "Now I have to say thank you...Damn it all..."

xxx


	74. Happy' Easter

**Easter**

"Roy will you stop whining? Its not that bad!" Ed tried to sooth, but he knew it would be a tad pointless. The man was already determined to believe his life sucked.

"When you're in this fucking get up then you can talk!" Roy growled back and pelted one of the neighborhood kids with a hard boiled egg to make himself feel better. "This is SHIT! Why did it have to be ME!"

"As opposed to Armstrong?" Ed snorted, "Do you REALLY want to watch HIM hide eggs? Seriously...Those sparkles have to be hazardous to eggs..."

"Well what about Havoc! Why couldn't HE do it!"

"Remember? He's in the hospital after getting shot twenty five times by Riza for being late to work."

"Mother fucker..."

"ROY!" Ed screeched realizing that a four year old girl was looking up at the colonel as he said that.

"Sorry...But MAN! What about Hughes? He's totally into this kinda thing?"

"You lit him on fire remember? He's still in a body cast."

"God damn it!" Roy growled wishing, for the first time in...ever..., that he hadn't set the man on fire. For once he would have been a useful asset.

"Sorry Roy...but you're really the only one who can do it..."

"Hey nii-san! Mustang-san" Ed and Roy turned to look at Al, who was approaching. "I'll do it if you don't want to!"

"Uuuh..." Roy and Ed looked at each other and pictured that scene. Imagining even TRYING to get Al into that costume was a painful thought.

"Al I really don't think a giant suit of armor can be the Easter Bunny..." Ed gave him a small smile.

"Well damn it why does it HAVE to be me! You know what FUCK Easter!" Roy pelted the next kid walking down the way with a raw egg this time, before he finally sucked up his childish misery and set about hiding the stupid eggs, being sure to fix those stupid bunny ears hanging over his face.

xxx


	75. Bad Joke

**Bad Joke**

"Hey! Watch it down there midget! I'm on the ladder here!" Roy stuttered as the the ladder wiggled from Ed's unnoticed run in with it.

"Geeze, sorry...What are you doing up there anyways?" Ed looks up curiously, it's not everyday the Colonel actually DOES something. This is certainly a rare occasion. He placed both hands on the leg of the ladder, in effort to temporarily steady it, so he could find out what disasterious happening had occured.

"There's a cat in the fan system...Fury is like twenty feet away from me trying to coax it out...I can see him through the vent though you probably can't."

"A cat?"

"Yeah a stupid damn cat..." Roy grumbled standing up on his tiptoes from the second step down, with his body half hanging out of the ceiling. "Come on cat...please?"

"What's the hurry? It'll come put when it wants..." Ed rolled his eyes.

"When the fans go on, the cat will become ground meat."

"Oh...Well damn then...need my help?" Ed pulled away from the ladder to walk around in hopes of following the vent with his eyes and hoping that maybe there would be another spot he could climb in.

"Hey hey! You could hold the ladder for me!"

Ed turned around just as he watched the ladder slide back from under Roy, his mouth fell open in a silent gasp of horror when Roy went down with it. He breathed the hugest sign of relief when Roy fell saftly into the arms of the second lieutenant, cat and all.

"Well at least I got him..." Roy mumbled dazedly, before he finally recognized to face of his savoir.

"You know, I could make a really bad 'pussy' joke right now," Havoc spoke, glancing at the cat Roy was clutching as he talked with the cigarette in his mouth while cradling the colonel in his arms. "But I think I'll refrain..."

"Hey you two! If I'm not allowed to share public display of affections, then niether are you!" Ed pouted.

"Not MY fault YOU get us caught..." Roy rolled his eyes dramatically as Havoc set him on his feet.

"Oh hush..." Ed puffed.

"Okay now, I'm going back to work." Havoc pulled the half burnt cigarette out of his mouth and gave both Ed and Roy a quick peck on the cheek, enticing a blush from both of them. "Cath you girls later!" He trodded off quickly after.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Ed called after the statement finally set in. "That's not even right to say!"

"Yeah...you don't WORK!" Roy responded involuntarily petting the cat.

"That's not what I was responding to Roy..." Ed looked over and Roy pondered it for a moment.

"Well...I do have a-" Roy held the cat up but the statment was cut off before he could even finish the sentence.

"That's the very same bad joke he refrained from, and GOD please don't EVEN say it..I think it would be a very disturbing thing to hear come out of your mouth."

"You spoil my fun...And you've heard me say worse..."

"Yeah but that's Havoc's influence when he's-"

"Let's don't go there in front of ten other people, okay?" Roy gritted trough his teeth.

Ed was silent for a moment. "So there." He finally hmphed and stuck out his tongue.

xxx


	76. Glue

**Glue**

"Roy do you really think you can fix that by yourself? Ed sat on the edge of teh very desk of which Roy was attempting to fix it's broken leg.

"Well if you hadn't come storming into my office I wouldn't have to fix it and you haven't offered your help, so who is supposed to fix it?" Roy didn't even look up as he kneeled at the opposite end of the desk, from Ed. He'd rolled up his sleeves and placed his jacket under his knees as he made effort to straighten out the lame leg.

"Well you didn't ask! And what was I supposed to do! Hughes is a hard man to escape from!" Ed replied with a dramatic wave of the hand characteristic to him alone.

"Fullmetal, despite your shrimp appearance, you are accually weighing down my desk...I'm tryign to FIX it and your obstructing my progression!"

"Since when do you use big words?" Ed snorted, trying is great difficulty to ignore the 'small' comment.

Roy replied with a snort of his own, while shaking his head in disbelief. "You really think I'm equal to YOUR mind capacity don't you? Well I'll tell you one thing, I was your age when you were BORN! and as much of a pedophile as that makes me sound like now that I've actually said it, I've had DOUBLE the experience as you have! I was a ranking military officer before your brother was even born! So don't under estimate me!" Roy gave a content huff and went back to working.

"Then I'll trust the fact that you KNOW fixing a desk with glue is a bad idea."

"What? It's just glue. Besides they took all the equipment to repair the third hallafter a certain someone got into afight with some guy because hecalledsaid certain someone, small."

"Oh go to hell Roy! They was justified!"

"It was not and quit shaking you leg like that, your making the desk rock back and forth."

"Oh bite me!" Ed stuck his tongue out and kicked his automail leg harder in order to rouse THE utmost irritation out of the Colonel.

"Ed! I'm not kidding damn it! You're going to break it worse!"

"Break it worse? How do you break something 'worse' when it's already broken?" Ed gave a pondering look.

"ED! Roy leaned forward to grap his leg and stop him from ruining what was left of it, and preventcosting him a pretty penny for a new desk.

"Fine fine! Okay I'll stop!" Ed replied with a muffled snort. After a moment or so he blinked. "You can take your hand off my leg now..I won't kick it any more I promise okay?"

"Uh...I've been trying," Roy blinked and hung his head when he realized his hand was stuck to Ed's automail leg.

"Roy, what kid of glue DID you use!"

The colonel opened his mouth to speak but was forcefully interrupted when the desk finally decided that it , did indeed, want to spite them. Ed slid backwards as he tumbled down the desk like a slide, boths legs on that side snapped at their wooden frames. Of course, Roy was stuck to Ed's which in turn meaned he followed. And the two laid in a heap on the floor.

"Just glue huh?" Ed gave a lazy glare as he watched in minimal satisfaction at Roy's pouting over his now sore hand after it was RIPPED from Ed's leg. Thank god for prothetics on Ed's part.

Roy only grumbled at yet another humiliating defeat, brought on by and all powerful, bottle of glue!

xxx


	77. Socks on a Wood Floor

**Socks on a Wood Floor**

He waited until it was almost midnight, generally the time he was most alert. He peeked out into the hall from his dorm and when he finally decided that the coast was clear he padded out on the hard wood floor that glowed from the faded florescent lights that hung far and few between.

He smiled to himself. All alone. He drifted up the hall slowly. Taking each step slowly, but dropping his foot just loud enough to hear the dull thump of sock covered feet pressing to the floor. It was a comfort of sorts. An odd habit. He didn't smoke, nor did he take his frustrations out in violent ways. Every now and then he was known to get a little buzzed on an alcoholic beverage or two. But when he was really at unease, he would walk back and forth in the hall, just outside of his dorm room. Alone in the faded light of the overhanging moon outside of his window.

He liked the sound of his feet tapping the floor and it made him smile in a childish manner, as if it was something forbidden. He was strange, everyone knew that.

But what did he care?

He neared the end of the hall when he distinctly heard the sounds of another's footsteps. For a second he recoiled, not wanting to been seen or have his secret 'paradise' of sorts invaded upon. At night, these halls were HIS.

However, after a moment of listening to the sounds of the halls, he realized that the footsteps were in the same dullish echo as his and that they too moved slowly, descending down the long corridor.

He followed, against what his mind was telling him. And he nearly bubbled with laughter when he came upon his own subordinate waltzing slowly down the hall in an almost dance-like fashion.

"Hey Full Metal." He whispered, but it was enough. The empty hall echoed his voice enough to carry it to the short alchemist. The blonde head whipped in his direction.

"Roy? What are you doing out here?" A nervous laugh followed as Roy strode up next to him.

"Probably the same thing you are…"

"Heh, who would have though…Did you know that if you walk just fast enough you can slide on the wood floors?" Ed looked up with a fickle grin.

"But of course. What kind of freak would I be if I hadn't tested all the floors?"

"Not a very good one I guess." He paused. "I guess we're the weird ones who think socks on a wood floor are a cool thing, heh? Well screw every one else right?"

"Odd little pep speech, but yes I agree. As far as I'm concerned: I'm normal, everyone else is crazy."

"That's a good one…"

"Thank you." Roy sighed. "Better be getting back before we're discovered."

"Yeah." Ed paused. "Catch you tomorrow night, here again?"

"My wood floors would miss me otherwise."

"Heh, see ya then, bastard-sama!" Ed stalked off only turning around to give him a secretive wink. A newly developed symbol of understanding between the two.

"Yeah, same to you pipsqueak." Roy whispered before trotting down the hall toward his room.

Perhaps he wasn't as alone as he thought.

* * *

_Leo: ZOMG, I bet you guys thought I'd TOTALLY given up on this story…Actually so did I xD But then I had this little plot bunny that curled up under my pant leg and kept chewing at my ankles until I finally wrote this. We just recently got a wood floor in our backroom and it just like came to me xD! I might start writing on this story again. Assuming you all haven't left me…I WILL make it to 100…I'm making that my GOAL. So yeah the next few days will be a Leo catches up on the shit that NEEDS to be worked on…God I'm a bad writer…I'm sorry…_


	78. Bithday Banner

**Bithday Banner (No that's NOT a typo)**

A simple fixture, nothing entirely too elaborate. That would be enough right? A simple banner, nothing over the top, because he knew, no they ALL knew, that the shorter teen would be upset with a large production. Didn't change the feeling of needing to do it anyhow. Ironic how it works, the one person who's the most pissed off at you is the one you want to do the most for. He never understood even his own mind.

He stood back and semi-admire the scrawled words, written in a hand painted bluish smear. So MAYBE he didn't have the artistic talent required to make is…well…appealing…

"Hey Colonel, that seriously looks like shit." Havoc turned to him looking up at the, well in the nicest terms the Colonel himself had come up with, 'abomination.'

"Thank you, I feel MUCH better…"

"If you didn't know how to write, you should have asked me to help, Colonel." Riza, ever the assistant (and for the sake of speaking truth, the master) of Roy smiled in an apologetic tone that told him that Havoc was, for once, right.

"Hey it's not supposed to look…GOOD. Okay maybe it was, but it's not MY fault I can't hold a paintbrush.

"At least Ed will get a laugh out of it." Havoc lit a cigarette and took a long drag. It wasn't but an instant later when Roy reached over and took the cigarette from him, dropping it to the floor and stepping on it.

"What have I told you about that? And if he laughs then I guess it meant for SOMETHING…At least I…guh…TRIED. YOU talked me into this. And I don't REMEMBER agreeing with immediate glee."

"How many more words are you gonna stress Colonel, because you'll give yourself a brain aneurysm if you're not careful…" Riza smiled petting Black Hayate, who was camped in her arms.

Roy pouted before crossing his arms over his chest, mumbling under his breath about how little dignity there was to even making the banner in the first place. Why the hell should he have to make a banner for Ed anyways…

"Oh and Colonel…"

"WHAT?"

"Uh…you accidentally left the 'r' out of Birthday…"

"You know what…I don't give a damn!" He turned around heading for the door only to see Ed walk in and glance up at the banner. "Ah! And in walks the poor victim himself! Hey Full Metal! Happy Bithday!" He grumbled as he aimed to walk passed, but was stopped by the shorter Alchemist. "What?"

"Roy…there are two 'p's in happy…"

"You know what screw you all!" Roy stomped out of the room.

"Hey Ed…" Havoc spoke, "You do know he actually put two 'p's right? I mean he didn't mess up on that, at least…you can see it right?"

"I know, I was just checking to see if he would look and realize I was teasing…" Ed paused and smirked, turning to face the door knowing Roy was standing in the doorway. "And MAYBE rattle his cage a bit. Since it's SO easy to ruffle his feathers."

"You're just evil…But Happy Fricking Birthday anyways, you brat."

Xxx

_Leo: Whoot hoo! Recent update! -gasp- I don't know why but suddenly I do have actual ideas for this story now. I kinda stalled for a while. After all the SHITTY drabbles I had to take a break so I could make up for it with…well…some GOOD ones…_


	79. Like No Other Night

_Leo: Another HavocxRoyxEd._

**Like No Other Night**

The sky hazed over in a dark rugged growl, with thunder rattling the window and lightening making the rooms light up as the people inside tried to find some solace in sleep. Most people detested the heavy storms that came through and flooded the streets, leaving everyone in horribly sleep-neglected moods in the morning. However, three people found it much more amusing to stay awake through the storm.

All three seated on the unkempt bed of the eldest and highest of rank watched the rain slam against the glass of the window. Curled up around each other on the tiny twin sized bed they breathed in a synchronized rhythm. As they enjoyed the unusual entertainment.

"Man, just look at that rain…" The short blonde yawned leaning against Roy.

"It's pouring down that's for sure…" The response came from only figure in a sitting position.

"Don't even reach for it Havoc." Roy at his head leaned against Havoc's chest, sort of cradling Ed in his arms. He didn't even need to open his eyes to know that the Lieutenant's eyes were fixed on the nightstand. "You can go one damn night with out smoking I think.

"Heh, that'll be like no other night! Havoc NOT smoking for a whole night…Man, I'm surprised your lungs are still working…" Ed grinned nuzzling into both Roy's chest and Havoc's arm.

"Oh come on now. We ALL have bad habits…"

"No quite like yours." Roy offered.

"Oh come on now! It may be a horrible habit to you, but at least I get MY work done!" Havoc grumbled in his defense, knowing the chances of winning against two was unlikely.

"You don't have any work!"

"I can thank you for that Colonel…"

"Hey now…"

"All right you two, quit it. We Always know where this leads…" Ed rolled his eyes, watching as a particularly bright flash illuminated the room for a moment.

"Actually, it doesn't ALWAYS lead to the SAME thing…I mean last time it led to sex in a public bathroom…"

"And I wasn't there to see that…Rub it in why don't you…" Ed pouted.

"Hey it's not MY fault you didn't want to go with us to that god awful meeting pipsqueak."

"Who are you calling PIPSQUEAK, Bastard-sama?"

"Hey, chill out, we made it up to you didn't we?" Roy smiled coyly, while petting the unbraided blonde hair the smallest was so very proud of.

"Yes…"

"Then what's to pout for?" Havoc drawled, arching his back to rid it of the kink it had formed from the last two hours of watching the storm start and find it's way down to a drizzle.

"Nothing I guess…" Ed leaned his head back down. "What do you think would happen if Riza walked into the room right now?" He suddenly asked just out of simple curiosity.

"We'd be shot." Roy spoke with the factual tone.

"Multiple times." Havoc added.

"In the head."

"Or chest."

"Or worse."

"Which we will not openly name for fear of it coming true."

"Damn you guys are scary when you do that finish each other's sentences shit…" Ed snorted stretching his arm and nuzzling his face against Roy's.

Roy captured his lips in his own and in a teasing manner to the one who was currently left out. He ran his tongue along Ed's teeth and grinned to himself watching the younger one shiver.

"Hey now. You better share some of that."

Roy craned his neck to lean against the elder to the two blondes' shoulder, teasingly tracing his tongue against the man's jaw line. He leaned up nibbling at the exposed ear before whispering.

"The rain has stopped, it's time for sleep."

"Oh you flipping tease…"

"Havoc, we're SUPPOSED to be used to this by NOW…"

"I know…but that's okay we'll get you in the morning Roy…" A wicked grin shone just barely in the dark almost lightless room.

"Fine by me." Roy grinned snuggling Ed in his hold as Havoc lay down on his other side.

XxX

_Leo: Okay a LITTLE bit of romancy action…not a whole lot though…sorry. I just liked the idea of this pairing and wanted to do another one…There's not man GOOD threesome pairings for FMA, at least that I would write, but this is one of them! So yeah…The next one planned is a HavocxRoy. Another pairing I rather like. It's nice to have this story back in action again…I get to loosen up my fingers with these before getting into serious typing. Also the title was inspired by the song I was listening to._


	80. Taking Time

_Leo: Yeah I know...Why bother to even update this thing anymore since it will be a zillion years before it gets anymore...but I said I'd go to a hundred...and I'm inclined to keep my word...(I never said it would be QUICK)_

**Taking Time**

"Colonel…I think you should take some time off of work…" Riza said simply standing before the colonel with her arms crossed in a casual way.

"And why do you think that lieutenant?" Roy blinked, almost wondering where on earth that random statement had bred from.

"Well you see…you've been acting a little strangely lately and we, I say we collectively for the rest of us, since they're not willing to speak for themselves, that you should take a couple of days to rest and make yourself more…. alert again…"

"I'm perfectly alert!"

"With all due respect sir, you've been doing rather questionable things…" She hung her head hoping she would not have to resort to explaining it in detail, but it appeared she would have to. "You see sir lately you've been making a lot of mistakes…It's understandable if you accidentally write you signature on the wrong spot, but your signature is upside down on the last thirty forms…"

"That's an honest mistake! I probably had the paper upside down."

"The paper wasn't upside down sir…and you wrote your name in Latin, who ever figured that out I'm not sure, but it is definitely Latin. Also you've been drinking your coffee differently-"

"People change their habits!"

"Sir, changing your habits is one thing but I assure you coffee is not to be drank by simply mixing the coffee in water, stirring and drinking…That's not good for you, I don't think…Not to mention you've been doing things that disturb the other officers…Like setting furniture aflame and washing windows wearing nothing but your boxers…"

"Sure, maybe I've been a little…off."

"You told Edward that you wanted to marry him, whisk him away to a secluded foreign country and have his children…"

"Okay you know, maybe I SHOULD think of taking some time off work …"

"I figured you might agree with me sir, I think you should go home now and don't come back for, say a week?"

"I think I will." Roy stood and obeyed feeling slightly disturbed with himself.

XxX

_Leo: I know, not the greatest addition, but the idea for it hit me so randomly…_


	81. Little Devil

**Little Devil**

Roy looked down at the wet nosed intruder, with a hint of irritation he crossed his arms. The intruder only sat there and stared back, making no noise nor moving.

"Now listen here, DOG, this is MY office, YOU will either disappear or restrain from chewing apart my furniture or eating my plastic potted plants, you understand?"

The dog only blinked and moved its head to the side.

"I'm not kidding this time! And you keep your face out of my coffee mug."

"You realize you're fighting with a DOG right?" The shorter Alchemist, lounging on the half sized sofa wrapping in not much more than a sheet and boxers, commented wryly.

"You know what, I'm telling you this little DEVIL is trying to mess with me on purpose! It's RIZA'S DOG! She's TRAINED it to make my life hell! One day I expect this 'adorable' little fuzzy to come to work with a hands gun taped to it's nose!"

"You're a so Paraoid Roy, it's almost amusing." Ed yawned.

"Oh you laugh now! This thing has the eyes of a DEMON!"

"It's a DOG! And didn't YOU say that dog's are man's most loyal servants?"

"Yeah and that's around the same time I thought it wouild be cool to have a whole army of women in short skirts...and then I realized that would only mean there would be 500 Riza's with guns aimed at me." He retorted scratching his head.

"...Hey Roy? Those wouldn't happen to be your pants the dogs is dragging out the room would it?"

"Huh? AAAH! BLACK HAYATE! Come back here!" Roy ran out the room, dressed no more than Ed.

"...Oh my, that's my mistake. That must have been the jacket...THESE are the pants.." Ed giggled to himself.

"ED!" A very embaraased Roy screamed from the hall.

"Heh heh, I'm the little devil Roy, not the dog!" Ed giggled as he curled up under the blanket waiting for the Colonel to return.

xxx

_Leo: Shocked aren't you? This story has recieved an update! XD! Here's hoping it doesn't suck!_


	82. Holding Hands

_Leo: Shit…it's been a while since I've put anything on this…Well, I have inspiration to put something and I'm going to leap at it._

**Holding Hands**

"What's so wrong about holding hands?" Ed asked, putting his hands behind with head as we walked next to the Roy. The older man barely spared him a glance, but there was a clear scoff directed at him.

"It's not appropriate in public."

"There are a lot of things you do in public that aren't appropriate." Ed replied with a wry smirk.

Roy stopped and looked down at the elder Elric, "like what?" He challenged.

"Oh a plethora of things! Like, for instance, you strip dancing at a Christmas party, clearly drunk off your ass."

"Really? Well if I recall correctly, you were the one who not only spiked the punch; but also made out impressively with a door."

Ed paused and frowned, "we're not talking about me here."

"You started it, now you can't even back it up."

"Well I don't see why I can't hold your hand!" Ed huffed and stopped. "It's not like we're not obvious anyway!"

"It's a girly thing to do." Roy blurted.

"What?"

"Women hold hands."

"That's your reason?" Ed blinked. It was funny and stupid at the same time. He laughed loudly.

"What's so funny?"

"It's too girly for you? Well sorry my friend, I can't grow ovaries for you, but you can pretend." Ed took one of Roy's arms against the man's will and entwined his fingers with the Colonel's. "Besides, if it bother's you that much, I'll wear a dress next time."

"It bothers me…" Roy smirked ever so slightly. "It bothers be beyond all belief..

Ed sighed, "you pervert." He shook his head, but didn't complain. Because they were holding hands.

* * *

_Leo: Cheesy…yes, I know…But I wanted something cute_. 


	83. Haircut

**Haircut**

"You need a haircut."

"I need a what?"

"You heard me Roy. I said you need a haircut. Your hair is too long."

A dark brow raised in amusement. "Says the man with 2 feet of hair."

"Yeah, but it looks good on me. Ed gave him a look as if to say, well no shit. You look bad with long out of control hair. It takes away that suave appeal you have. Besides, your face isn't pretty boy enough to match long flowing hair. You've got too masculine of features. Besides, I think you look much more charming with short hair, especially when you brush it back." Ed went on as if this was a simply ordinary topic.

"As much as I appreciate you ravishing me with attention, I hope you've realized that you've subconsciously moved into my lap and are presently fondling my head." Roy said in a dry tone, in which Edward only smiled with his eyes closed and continued to pat his hair.

"I know. Now go get a haircut."

Roy sighed. "First thing tomorrow."

* * *

_Leo: Yeah, I know what anyone who followed this story ages ago is thinking: WTF. Well, I made a promise a long time ago that this would reach 100 drabbles. And as I ve seen many others promise it, I ve never seen many others finish it. So I m going to try. It helps I just finished brotherhood. I ma try to keep these mostly RoyEd, but sometimes Roy needs his own spot light. Thank you for following this is you have._


	84. Handedness

**84. Handedness**

"Hey Roy…"

"Hmm?" The dark haired man mumbled, haplessly, comforted by the blond bundle curled against his body, snuggling into him.

"Are you left handed?"

"That's an odd question to ask mid cuddle, Fullmetal."

Said blond bundle made an audible huff. "Don't call me that when we're snuggling."

"Okay, _Ed. _Why ask something like that now?"

"Because I was thinking. Going back to every time you fought that I saw, you like to use your left hand a lot. I don't know why I noticed, maybe because my flesh arm relates more."

"I can use both. I prefer my left."

"Is it your stronger arm?"

"….Hmm." Roy thought, using one hand to lift Ed up from his side and turn, so that Ed's body was positions lying chest to chest with him. "Yeah, I think so. That would have been so much easier if you'd been lying on the other side of me."

Ed flustered and looked at him seriously for a moment, before snuggling his face into Roy's chest, only to return to his serious look. "Interesting."

"Anymore questions?"

"…can you put me back?"

"No. Now go to sleep."

Ed gave a big pout and put his head on Roy's chest, "Bastard."

* * *

Leo: Random.


	85. I Love You

_Relocating this from a separate story.  
_

**I love you**

Ed poked his head around the corner, rather cautiously. He whipped his head in both directions, making a quick scan of the area. He was looking to avoid a certain Flame Alchemist, lest he want to face the results of the humiliating evening prior. He breated a sigh of relief as he mentally confirmed no sight of the colonel.

"Hey Edo."

A small shriek left Ed before he could clamp a hand over his mouth and try to reason with his heart to stop thumping against his rib cage. He turned around, shooting a 'I hope you die' glare at the person behind him, and owner of the voice.

"HUGHES!"

"What? Why are you being so jumpy today?" Hughes gave Ed and impressionable smile, not an uncommon sight on the major.

"Grrr...You should know! This is YOUR fault!"

"Mine? Really? What did I do?"

"You...you...GRR!" Ed growled frusterated. Hughes was known to play dumb in circumstances such as the one Ed found himself in.

"Have you seen Roy today? I can't seem to find him. I know! YOu can help me!" The smile spread like an infectious disease beghinning to take over the man's face.

"Wait! No! I can't-!" His protest was overruled by the major's persistant nature. Hughes grabbed one of Ed's arms and dragged him out into the hall...Out in the open.

"Nyaaaa! Matte!"

"Taisa, you have a deadline for your paperwork, if I may be excused for mentioning."

"It's quite alright lieutenant. Please take these to be passed on." Roy handed the blonde sharpshooter several stacks of paper. "They're not concerning my district, therefore they're not my concern."

Roy sighed as he watched Riza leave the room. The night before was still fresh in his memory. He wasn't sure what the hell he was thinking. And waking up and seeing THAT, and NOT finding anything wrong with what he saw...That seriously disturbed him.

He leaned back, being particularly careful not to slide back too far. He rested his head on his hands, which were folded behind his neck as he stared up at the ceiling. What was he going to do? Ed was obviously avoiding him. But then again...That WAS pretty awkward for both of them...

"HEY ROY!"

The loud echo of Hughes voice, startled Roy. Roy also forgot that he was leaned back in his chair. The chair so kindly slid out from under him and he went sprawling across the area behind his desk.

He stood up quickly in an attempt to regain a LITTLE bit of the dignity he'd lost...Though not much would make it better, when his friend was all but busting a gut.

"Shut up Hughes! Go back to where you came from! What the hell do YOU want anyways?" Roy bursted, with out even realizing Ed was there.

"Oh nothing," The major snickered. "I just thought I'd deliver this to you!" He smiled brightly as he pushedEd out from his hiding place behind the bigger man.

Both of their faces lit up, unable to hold back the blush. It'd been the first time the two'd seen each other since the previous night. And they'd done such a good job of avoiding each other until Hughes came along.

"HUGHES!" Roy grabbed the closest thing within his reach and hurled it in the Major's direction. Maes ducked and skittered out of the room as he just barely avoided the lamp that was once placed on Roy's desk.

Roy breathed in as he calmed down. He glanced over at Ed and sat dow with a heavy sigh, signaling for him to sit down as well.

Ed hesitantly took a seat. He couldn't help the fact that his heart was beating so fast that it was almost at the point where he'd have to hold his chest to keep it in. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he prepared to speak.

"Look about last night..." Roy said before Ed had the chance to.

"Um..uh..yeah?"

"I know...that...um we were just a bit...um...drunk...and well...AH DAMN IT! How do I say this?" Roy's face was flushed.

"Um..."

The two sat in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. They both turned their heads to look as the door opened and a tired looking Riza entered. She looked at the two and paused.

"Um..Colonel Mustang, sir. I didn't mean to intrude!" She saluted.

"That's okay, what do you need lieutenant?" Roy asked shakily. He knew that the lieutenant wasn't on very good terms with him after last night.

"Um, I was just bringing these to you sir!" She handed him some papers.

"Great...more paper work..." He sighed.

"That is all sir."

"You're dismissed then." He replied and she quickly left, but not before saluting the Colonel.

"OKay, now that that destraction is out of the way...Ed about last night-"

"Yo Colonel!" The two turned to look at a half awake Havoc standing in the door way with a cigarette hanging half way out of his mouth.

"Yes, Havoc?" Roy asked as his right eye twitched in aggrivation at being interrupted TWICE.

"Would you mind if I left early?" He said blowing out smoke.

"WOuld you quite polluting the air with your death sticks, and is this because of your massive hangover?"

"Uh...yeah?"

"Then no, go back to work."

Havoc sighed and hung his head leaving the room in a slow sluggish fashion. And not moments later Riza passed by simply plucking the cigarette out of his mouth. He whined and slinked away closing Roy's office door on his way out.

"Back to what I was sayin-"

The door flew open and Fury rushed in seemingly alarmed.

"First off, are we being attacked?" Roy asked truely annoyed.

"No but-"

"Is the world coming to an immediate end within the next 20 minutes?"

"No but-"

"Is anyone who can fire me on their way here as we speak?"

"No BUT SIR-!"

"Then out of my office for the next twenty minutes!"

Fury sighed as he turned to leave the room. Of course he never made it out as Major Armstrong made his way in knocking the smaller man over.

"WHAT IS GOIN ON?" Roy screamed, with his face changing from pale to red, very quickly.

"AH! How lovely! You two together at long last! I always knew! the ability to see the budding of such a thing has been passed down through the Armstrong family for generations!" Armstrong said in such an overly dramatic fashion that it caused Ed to actually get out of his seat, crawl over Roy's desk and take refuge in the colonel's lap.

"HHUUUUUGHHHES!" Roy's voice carried above all others and Maes took no time to show up at the scene.

"Oi Roy! How's today treating you?" The major asked, all smiles.

"You tell another person about what happened last night and you'll meet a very sad end. I want everyone OUT. OF. MY. DAMN. OFFICE. for the next 20 minutes! If anyone comes in here, I'm holding YOU responsible!"

"Ah come on! Don't be so uptight!"

"NOW!"

"OKay right on it!" He said quickly leaving while dragging Armstrong, who was still going on about god know what, with him.

"Um, I'll report to Lieutenant Hawkeye about my issue sir!" Fury didn't wait for an answer before he left out the door Hughes was holding open. Maes peeked his head in and smiled.

"Make it quick you two!" He quickly closed the door to avoid the next object to go flying across the room.

"I'm telling you one of these day's I'm going to snap and just torch that man!" Roy took a deep breath before looking down and blinking.

"Uh..." Ed looked up at Roy. "Well um..."

"About last night..." Roy tried to get out as Ed pulled himself out of the man's lap and sat on the edge of the desk facing him. "Well...we both did have A LOT to drink...and well..."

"Did you mean what you said to me?" Ed blushed furiously as he tried to divert his eyes.

"What?"

"Well you know I heard that people are more open with what they really feel when they get plastered. And well...Let's face it both of us were DRUNK."

"Okay," Roy swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"So did you mean it? When you said that to me last night?"

"Well..."

"It wouldn't really be a bad thing to me if you did..." Ed looked away fiddling with the braid he'd had his blonde hair in.

"Well...I..." Roy breathed in deeply. "I did mean it..." He looked away to keep Ed from seeing the bright shade of red his face was becoming.

"You did?"

"Yes...I do love you."

"Really?"

"Yes..."

"Well um..Roy...I wasn't exactly THAT drunk last night, I must confess..."

"WHAT?" Roy shrieked surpessing the impulse to jump out of his seat.

"Yeah..."

"I know I should be very mad at you for putting me in a situation like that but for some reason I can't find it in me to get mad..."

"Roy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I know..." Roy smiled softly. "Though maybe next time consider a better place to jump me...The tile floor in the kitchen isn't exactly back friendly..."

Ed chuckled to himself. "I'll be sure to remember that bastard-sama. Thjough I think you should go see to your subordinates..."

"Nah...They can suffer."

xxx

_Thanks for reading!  
_


	86. Listen To Your Heart

_Relocated to here._

_RoyxEd  
_

**Listen to your heart**

Ed slumped against the bed as Roy stormed out of the room. He couldn't help the massive tears that found their way into the bed sheets as he fisted his hands in the comforter.

Not often did they fight. Not often were such cruel words spoken. Not often did his heart break with as much intensity as it was at that very moment. In Roy's fury he simply upped and walked out. Saying nothing more than a quick 'goodbye Ed'. Leaving the smaller alchemist to anguish over the sudden feeling of loss of the most important thing in his world.

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes  
You've built a love but that love falls apart  
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark_

Roy backed out of the rain and leaned against the damp side of an alley way wall. He couldn't understand why it'd happened. How something so menial and so unimportant, that it had been forgotten by the end, had cause the two to erupt like that. Him...and Ed...They were so close. They'd been together so long...And they'd lasted. Never once falling victim to fights of any high magnitude.

But, with the annoyance of his work, the past creeping up on him again and various other stupid stress inducers, he'd snapped. He didn't mean to. But he had...And he knew that had he'd messed up.

He'd said to Ed, "I'm not coming back, so don't wait for me." A snarl he'd regretted and didn't feel he could so easily take back. To know he'd hurt his loved one so deeply.

He slid against the wall until he was seated on the cold wet floor and he contemplated what to do. He couldn't go back to Ed. Part of him was still furious. Part of him wanted to never go back. To run away and give up being an alchemist. Like Doctor Marcoh had. To never see that stupid uniform, or those people who gawk at him because he's a lieutenant colonel.

He'd made up his mind, he wasn't going back. But he had someone to see first.

_Listen to your heart when he's calling for you  
Listen to your heart, There's nothing else you can do  
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why  
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

Ed sobbed as he sauntered out of the room reaching for his jacket. He had to find someone who could help. Some one who would go with him to look for Roy. He couldn't lose Roy. Even despite the things that were said, he would forgive. He would welcome Roy back into his arms with out any hesitation or any regret.

He wrapped himself in the jacket not even bothering to pull his arms through the sleeve. He was contemplating on who to go to. He couldn't go to Al. His brother was opposed to Ed and Roy being together from the get go, even though he stood by whatever Ed's decision had been.

He couldn't go to Riza, that just didn't seem right after Roy turned her down for Ed. Hughes...If only he'd been alive. If Hughes was still alive he'd have gone to him. No one knew Roy better, even now...Maes was the closest thing Roy ever had to family, as Ed knew so well.

"Where are you Roy?" Ed stood out on the cold front step staring out at the cloudy rain spewing sky. He shivered as the cold breeze blew against him, brushing his hair back and away from his face. "Don't you know, that I never wanted you to go?"

A raindrop hit his face, sliding down the path of his tear as he stepped into the street with a destination in mind. The sound of his boots echoed against the street as he ran, being the only person on that lonely street.

_Some times you wonder if this fight it worth while  
The precious moments are all lost in the tide  
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems  
This feeling of belonging to your dreams_

He hit his knees before the tombstone. Kneeling into the mud puddle that was a grave site to his best friend. He knew that Maes would help him. He'd always led him the right way. As over bearing as the man could be, no one ever led him on the safer path.

"Help me Maes, what do I do!" He sobbed leaning forward and resting his head on his arms, not even caring that he was covering himself in mud and getting soaked to the bone by the pouring rain. "I just don't know what to do!"

He sobbed. A very foreign sight on such a stoic man. On the man noted for his calm and collected appearance. But every one has a weakness. And Ed was his. No one had ever brought him to his knees before. No one until him...

"What do I do! You gotta help me here man! What do I do?" He gasped for air, despite the water dripping down his face. "I love him...I...How do I expect him to just simply forget?"

'You're the LAST person I want to see some times, you know that? Sometimes I DREAD seeing you!' he recalled the words he hastily spat, as he watched the tears form in his younger lovers eyes.

"I would hate me too." He closed his eyes in an attempt to drown his own thoughts out. Though he failed.

_Listen to your heart when he's calling for you  
Listen to your heart There's nothing else you can do  
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why  
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

By the time he made it to the cemetery he was already soaked. Chilled by the cold breeze that would occasionally sweep across the streets he would be running down.

He gasped slightly when he saw the figure laying by the Major's grave. He wanted to approach but something made him stop. He knew he had no right to be there...He hadn't even known Hughes long enough for a unsolicited visit at such an hour. Not to mention that he had to jump over the already locked from gate just to get there.

He could easily make out what sounded like sobs. And he heard the mumbling of the form kneeling in the mud puddle that was Maes grave.

'Roy,' Ed thought to himself..as he stood a distance away watching...Hearing the words.

"I'm sorry..." The voice was distressed, "I never..I never meant to say those things...I never..." A quiet sob interrupted the man as he swallowed the lump in his throat to continue. "I never meant to raise my hand to him...Help me Maes...You're the only one who ever knew how to help me out of things like these..."

Tears mixed with the rainwater as Ed trembled at the state Roy was in. He slowly, but surely stepped forward. Hesitantly decreasing the space between them.

"Roy..."

_And there are voices, that want to heard  
So much to mention but you can't find the words  
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been  
When love was wilder than the wind_

Roy's head shot up as he heard his name called softly through the screaming wind and rain. He looked up at the tearful form of the very person he's been mulling over.

"Ed..."

"Roy please come back home..." Ed slumped his shoulders and sank into the mud next to Roy. "Please."

"How...How can you say that!"

"Because I love you Roy..."

"Are you stupid? Look at the way I treated you, and you still love me? What the hell is wrong with you? Have I damaged you that badly!"

"No Roy...You haven't...But I love you and that has more power over me than a few words, or even a fist..."

"I don't understand you..." Roy dropped his head back down.

"I've seen a lot of hellish things...so have you..." Ed wrapped his arms around Roy's shoulders and leaned against him gently. "And we've both done things we regret...But living in the past...just has no future...I know you love me, other wise you wouldn't be here, asking someone who isn't even alive for help. Now please come home..."

_Listen to your heart when he's calling for you  
Listen to your heart There's nothing else you can do  
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why  
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

"Ed..."

"Yes?"

"I love you..." Roy looked up at Ed with tired eyes.

"I know..." Ed smiled wearily. He stood up and held out his hand. "Let's go home okay?"

Roy took the hand with out hesitation and stood up next to the smaller one. He looked down and smiled slightly. Ed grinned brightly in response.

"Let's put this behind us okay? Ah! Look it stopped raining!"

"So it has...It couldn't have waited until the dirt rinsed off though." Roy mumbled.

Ed leaned closer to Roy and took a hand in his. The two walked away together.

Roy took one quick glance back at the grave. 'Thanks man...You managed to save me from myself again...'

"You know...I tried really hard to be mad at you Roy...But I just couldn't do it...So don't do that again..."

"I really HAVE damaged you. You haven't even called me bastard yet..."

"Fine you bastard! You happy now!"

"Much more than I was before. Thank you."

"Tell that to my heart..If I hadn't listened to that...then I might have never run after you...On second though...you feed me sooo..."

"Ah you think you're funny." Roy ruffled Ed's blonde hair.

"Yes...And you know you love it!"

"Yes...Yes I do." The colonel smiled. Just another obstacle...There'd be more...There always is...But you know what they say, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

xxx

_Thank you for reading!  
_


End file.
